* In response to his car alarm, a concerned car owner grabbed a wooden stick and ran outside. Thinking that his car was about to be stolen, the owner and his stick confronted the person responsible. The assumed thief then grabbed the stick from the man and hit him with it. When police arrived, the presumed car thief explained that he was not attempting to steal anything but had found the keys in the parking lot. Perhaps because he was just a little intoxicated, the "do-gooder" accidentally pressed the panic button, setting off the car alarm and alerting the car owner. The man then told police that the car owner kept coming at him with a stick, even after the keys had been returned.
* A woman was abandoned downtown last Saturday when her ride failed to show. She had been dropped off earlier, and her companion was to drive her car back and pick her up later that morning. The companion never came back and has yet to return the car or inform the woman of its whereabouts. The woman told police that she would sign a warrant for the turn-tail companion, "as soon as she found a ride."
* Beef -- It's What's For Dinner: While perusing the meat section at a local grocery store, one thrifty shopper took several items and began to walk out without paying. An employee who witnessed this followed the shoplifter out of the store and managed to detain him until police arrived. The penny-pinching carnivore managed to conceal $56.18 worth of rib-eye steak on his person.
* A department store was hit hard last Saturday when two separate cases of shoplifting were reported to police within an hour. Both incidents were luckily caught on video. The first incident involved one shoplifter attempting to hide a Walkman in his jacket. This wasn't the first time he tried this stunt, and the store had already banned him from the premises and charged him with unlawful concealment at an earlier date. Less than an hour later, the video surveillance camera once again caught two women stuffing displayed shirts into their purses. The officer on the scene for the first shoplifting incident was able to walk over and report on the second case, saving the police valuable time.
* A fight erupted on a CATS bus, when an intoxicated man began to punch another man several times in the face. After the man's face was sufficiently pummeled, the destruction moved to one of the bus windows, which was successfully smashed. Exiting the bus, the hellion went out with a bang, punching and kicking the bus door. Mr. fists-of-steel was arrested several minutes later.
* After a woman commented that another woman was weird because of the way she wore her watch, the weird watch-wearer stood up, walked over to the woman who made the comment, and slammed both of her hands on the unsuspecting woman's head. The weird watch-wearer then started pulling the woman's hair. Finished, the assailant sat back down as if nothing had happened.