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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from the Charlotte police reports

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WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, AN ATM?: A 31-year-old woman said said her co-worker scratched her left arm and her right ear at work. The two got into the squabble after an argument over money. (Note: This is exactly why I don't let co-workers borrow money for lunch. I loan them the $5.95 so they can get the all-you-can-eat soup and salad special at Olive Garden. They don't pay me back, I get all John Gotti on their ass. Then I'm the one out of a job.)

SHE SHOULD TRY MATCH.COM: A 48-year-old man said his ex-lover called him more than 130 times over a span of eight days leaving threatening and harassing messages. The man said during one of the calls, the woman told him that she was going to shoot him and damage his car AGAIN. He said she was upset because he doesn't want to date her. (Note: As a single girl, I know the dating scene in Charlotte can be really depressing, but is it that serious? If this lady has enough time on her hands to call someone more than 130 times, she needs to get a hobby ... a part-time job ... damn, something to occupy her time.)

EVEN OLD PEOPLE GET CRUNK: A 63-year-old woman said her next door neighbor walked to her door and yelled, "I will drag you up and down the street and beat you." The woman said she believes her neighbor will do it. (Note: I don't know what happened between this lady and her neighbor, but she better watch her back because there's definitely an ass-whopping coming her way.)

THAT WAS RANDOM: A 25-year-old woman was taking her dog for a scroll in her neighborhood on Aster Drive, when a man walked up to her and said, "If I see that dog again, I'm going to shoot him." The woman said she didn't know the man. (Note: I told you it was random.)

SIR, NO ONE GIVES A DAMN: A business owner called police to tell them that several items of trash were placed in his dumpster by an unknown person who was not authorized to do so. (Note: Ummmmm ... doesn't this guy think the police's time would be better spent solving actual crimes like, I don't know, murders?)

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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