LOVELY LANDLORD: A person agreed to rent a home to three different parties and collected deposit and rent money from them, knowing the house couldn't possibly be rented to them all. In all, the person is accused to swindling folks out of nearly $3,700.

CUSTODIAL KICK: A woman went to the house of her son's father to pick up their three-month-old boy. While she bent over to unbuckle her son from the car seat, the father kicked her in the lower back.

MONEYED TIME: A certain multimillionaire/pro-sports entrepreneur (no, it's not the first one that springs to mind) reported a $25,000 watch stolen from his locker in a south Charlotte country club. A $25K watch? Left in a locker? The rich really are different from you and me.

CRIMES OF VANITY: Someone walked in a chain drugstore, grabbed what's described in a police report as an "assortment of cosmetic products," and walked out to a waiting vehicle. The employee who reported the crime originally placed the value of the stolen property at $450 but called hours later to up the ante to $1043. Wow. Someone ought to be looking good for that kind of theft.

CELL DYSFUNCTION: Someone stole a woman's cell phone. She called the phone's number. Someone answered, so the woman asked to get her cell back. Someone refused and said she would have to pay to reclaim it. So the woman kept on calling the person. The person then told her "they" knew where she was, and, if she called the police, they would kill her. Over a cell phone.

GET 'EM A BUS PASS: A man told police he let someone borrow his car to make a quick trip to the store. That was more than 24 hours before he filed the vehicle theft report.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.