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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files


YOU'VE BEEN PANTSED: A student at a CMS high school was participating in some sort of athletic activity when someone stole his pants and wallet.

HEADS UP: A man told police that someone issued this threat: "If you come by my house tonight you will be shot in the head." Guess he stayed at home.

THE HAMBURGLAR: An employee of a certain "Golden" fast food restaurant was accused of stealing $600 from the establishment and fleeing the area. Said suspect also made off with the store uniform (valued, um, generously at $50) and the $800 drive-thru head set.

ALERT THE SWAT TEAM: A woman complained to police that she saw a suspect steal water from her outdoor water faucet.

PARKING LOT DRAMA: A man called police after he had an argument with someone about a parking space. He felt the other guy wasn't supposed to park in a certain spot, and then the guy had the gall to shove him in the chest and walk away.

A POX ON THE HOUSE: A man told police that people have repeatedly torn shingles from his roof and scattered them across the yard. Last month, they tore 20 shingles; this month, they scattered 100 shingles.

SIGNS: A woman told police that during a recent weekend her lawn had been damaged. Someone had applied an unknown chemical to kill grass in their front yard, and the dead grass spelled out a timeless message: fuck you.

DEEP DOO: In the course of stealing diapers valued at $75, a man assaulted another man at a chain drugstore with some sort of cutting instrument.

THREATS OF THE WEEK: A woman reported that someone made 27 harassing phone calls in 45 minutes on a recent afternoon. His best line? "I'll drive this car through your truck." In a separate incident, someone called a woman to tell her, "I will come to Charlotte and kill you. I have a gun with your name written all over it. If I go to court, it will be for something real."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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