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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files


Presenting a collection of classic threats.

Wicked Stepfather: A woman did not like the way her new husband was treating her son. The stepfather said: "He's my stepson. I hit him upside the head when I want to and I will hit you upside your head," Nonsensically, he added: "You need to keep my damn name out yo mouth" and "You're damn right you don't know me." And you thought the stepmother from Cinderella was bad?

Grammatically Incorrect Threat: A man received the following threat at his place of work from two callers (possibly on an intimidation conference call). Suspect one said, "I'll put you out. I'll shoot you. I'll put you out." (Note the effective use of repetition.) Suspect two added, "I'm gonna shoot you in the head and I'm not scared. I'm not no punk." In a separate incident, a man left the following message after his 15 calls were not answered: "I'll come down there and beat your ass worse this time like I did last time."

Can You Hear Me Now?: A cell phone war was waged between two men. An angry cell-less man approached a man he believed had wronged him in some cell phone scheme. The aggressor stole the man's cell phone, then said: "I know where you live. I have your number. If you don't give me the $20 for your phone I'm going to come beat your ass." The joke will be on the thief when he calls the victim, and the phone goes off beside him.

Sans Tweety: Sylvester's phone call was cut off (which may seem unsubstantial but it could eventually lead to the end of his life). The man he was on the phone with became furious, believing Sly hung up on him on purpose. He called back to say, "Now I got you. It's you! We are going to teach you a lesson. You will see. You will see what will happen to you! I know where you live!"

Two for One: A suspect threatened to jump on another man's "m*****f****** head. You gonna get f***** up. I'll be at your momma's house when she gets home. You take it how you want to, booboo." The runner up threat of the week was, "I'm going to whoop your butt."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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