News & Views » The Blotter

The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from the Charlotte police department


Phoney Baloney: A woman reported that her license plate and bumper sticker had been damaged. Someone had written words on them with a permanent marker. The one intelligible word she was able to make out was: "fake".

Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been A Prostitute?: A man approached a woman at a bus stop and asked her if she would sleep with him for money. The report does not indicate how much the man offered or whether the woman accepted it.

Thanks Mom: A suspect showed up at a woman's residence and asked to speak to her son. The woman told him her son was not in, and the suspect asked if he could lie down in the son's bed until he returned. For some reason the woman said OK. The suspect eventually left the house. When the son returned home, he noticed his wallet had been stolen, not to mention his sheets ruffled and his pillow unfluffed.

The Stone Age: A woman approached a male acquaintance at his job and began to hurl small rocks at him. According to the man, the woman also threatened to kill him (presumably by stoning).

Designated Desperado: At 5 a.m., a Kentucky man declared himself still drunk and unfit to drive. He gave his keys to a "friend" who needed to run an errand (At 5 a.m.?). Eight hours later, the friend hadn't returned and the now sober man called police to report the car theft. Hopefully he didn't walk back to Kentucky.

Blame The Midgets: A man reported damage to the latches on his trailer door. The reporting person doesn't believe the criminals got into the trailer. He told police that since the trailer was backed up against his house, unless the suspects were very small, they would not have been able to open the door wide enough to get into the trailer. Fortunately, the man didn't go as far as to suggest that police round up local pygmies and dwarfs for a little people line-up.

Threat Of The Week: The following threat was delivered by telephone: "Today is Sept. 27 and you are going to pay for everything. You won't be able to ask God, 'Why is this happening?' Or "Why me?'"

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

Add a comment