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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files



Fizzy Gold: During the night, 60 cases of soda were stolen from a display case outside a closed gas station. Had the robber chosen to purchase rather than pilfer his soda, the 720 cans totaling 67.5 gallons would have cost $568.80

Fizzy Gold 2: A man strolling home from work with a 20-oz cherry soda in hand was confronted by a mugger brandishing a hammer. When the stroller said he had no money, the hammerman took a swing. A squirmish ensued before hammerman abandoned his tool for his bare knuckles. He landed a punch and ran off with the stroller's soda.

What about leap years?: A woman reported a family member stole the beloved biblical-scripture calendar she'd used for 24 years. Unable to get an arrest warrant, she showed up at the relative's home for further questioning. Weary of the examination, the accused threatened, "If you don't leave, I'll kick your motherfucking ass." The woman, who had previously been arrested for an incident filed by the person she was accusing, confessed she simply wanted the relative to know how it felt to be arrested.

Time to get a new fleet of watches: A woman, possibly multi-wristed, called the police after her house had been robbed. Four Seiko women's watches, another woman's watch and one man's watch were taken. Also in the loot was a gold tooth and a molar imprint.

Shirt off his back: While visiting a female friend at her apartment, a man was rushed by three other men who entered the residence. The man claimed he was robbed of his clothes, which included a Magic Johnson jersey. The report does not say if the man's pants were taken.

Run For the Border: A man met a co-worker to pay off the cell phone calls the man had incurred while borrowing the co-worker's phone. When asked to return the phone, the man took off. Later, using the stolen phone, the man called the co-worker, saying he was in Mexico and had no plans of returning to Charlotte.

Kinky?: A woman returning to her apartment discovered someone had poured motor oil and whipped cream on her door. It may be the only time the two substances have been combined. The woman complained of paint damage.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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