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The Blotter

Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files



STALKER SAFETY TIP: For two weeks, a woman received harassing phone calls at home and on her cell phone. She advised the gentleman caller that she didn't want anything to do with him. Still, he calls to say pseudo-romantic things like, "I just want to hear your voice." The situation entered another realm of creepiness when the woman spotted the man in her neighborhood as she was driving one day. The man followed her in his car. First, she decided to lose him, then changed her mind. She made a u-ey to face him, then wrote down his plate number. After the encounter, she got a message on her phone from the man. It said: "Didn't anyone ever tell you it's dangerous to do your hair while you're driving?" The woman acknowledges she was fixing her hair when she first passed the man in her car, but wouldn't acknowledge there is a better time to primp.

GOLDEN GOOSE: A magazine salesman was soliciting business in a neighborhood and approached a yard with some neat yard decorations. At the steps of the residence, he began to play with a pink wooden goose, spinning the wing of the birdie. The homeowner came out of the house and told the salesman to stop spinning the wing. To spite the woman, after being told not to, the salesman gave the wing a final spin. The homeowner swatted the salesman's hand away, causing a scratch. The salesman called in the report of simple assault. No, the police do not have better things to do with their time.

I'M WARNING YOU, MY HEADACHE WILL REALLY GO AWAY: Speaking of bothering the police, a man called 911 to say he would most likely be overdosing soon. The man had taken more pills than he was supposed to in an attempt to hurt himself and reported that he would soon fall asleep. When police arrived on scene, the man told them he had ingested four aspirins. Not 40; four.

THREE LEFT FEET: A shoe store in Plaza-Midwood reported that a customer stole one tennis shoe from each of three pairs of sneakers. No motive is immediately known, but off-the-wall explanations are plentiful. One theory gaining credence connects the vandal in some sort of union (possibly a romantically-charged one) to a three-footed monster with bunions.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte Police Department.

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