Irony A 41-year-old woman called police to her home in east Charlotte last week after it seemed like a ghost had been through her home. She told officers that some unknown suspect had apparently broken into her home, because the entire place was ransacked. The only item listed on the report as stolen, however, was a bracelet with the word "Ghost" written on it. Haven't you ever been ransacking a home and saw that one item that speaks to your soul?
Let Me Burn Police got involved in an altercation at Berryhill Elementary School last week after a young man decided he couldn't be bothered to leave school during a fire drill. According to staff, the school started the day with a fire drill, during which time a student left the class and walked off. He remained unaccounted for until a staff member walked into the bathroom while making sure the building was clear and found the boy "lounging" there. The student reportedly "gave an unsatisfactory answer" when asked what he was doing, then became verbally and physically hostile when staff tried to remove him.
It's A Keeper Police responded to a domestic disturbance in University City after a boy refused to go to school one morning. So, was the boy being bullied on the playground? Was there a test that day that he hadn't studied for? Not quite. According to the report, the boy refused to go to school because his friend had let him borrow a cellphone and he didn't want to give it back. He refused to even tell the police or his mother who the phone belonged to, so they couldn't give it back to the kid, either. The woman told police that she just wanted a police report acknowledging that her son refused to go into school so she wouldn't get in trouble.
Lost Valentine An 18-year-old woman filed a police report last week after her car was broken into in front of her University area home. Among the items listed as stolen, the woman wrote "he stole my gun, wipes, and my phone case with a picture of me and my boyfriend." We don't know what you mean by wipes, but it certainly seems odd anyone would want a phone case with a picture of two complete strangers on it.
Birtherism In other "But why?" news, a 61-year-old man became convinced that a local cleaning staff was out to get him and possibly steal his identity when some important papers came up missing last week. The man, hailing from Columbus, Ohio, told police that while he was out of the hotel room where he was staying on Independence Boulevard, the cleaning staff cleaned his room "without his prior knowledge" and apparently made off with his birth certificate, because it was nowhere to be found.
Test Drive A 23-year-old man filed a police report after regretting that he got too comfortable with a potential buyer for his dirt bike last week. The man told police that he met with a man who had contacted him about possibly buying his dirt bike for $2,000. The meeting didn't last long, as when the potential buyer showed up he immediately asked if he could sit atop the dirt bike and start it up. The seller gave his permission, and before he knew it, he was watching his dirt bike ride down the rode, never to be seen again.
Cleaned Out Police responded to a home in south Charlotte after a woman reported that more than $160,000 worth of jewelry had been stolen from her by a known suspect. The woman told officers that someone living in the home had slowly stolen and sold all the jewelry between October 2016 and January of this year. The woman, whose last name matches that of a Hornets assistant coach who played for the 1968 Philadelphia 76ers, also reported the championship ring from that year with said name etched into it as among the items that had been sold off. Making it all the more tough is the fact that it doesn't look like the 76ers are going to get another one of those for quite some time.
Sandwich Defense Artist Police responded to a Subway on Kings Drive last week after a customer there completely lost their shit when they realized they weren't getting a free sandwich. An employee told officers the customer attempted to use a coupon for a free sandwich, but was told the coupon was not valid. This sent the customer into a fit, during which they threw straws, chips and napkins at the employee, who was not harmed in the incident.
New Recipe Police responded to a home in southwest Charlotte after a suspect used a concoction of ingredients to ruin a man's entire wardrobe during an argument. According to the 31-year-old victim, the suspect showed up at his house sometime between 1 and 4 a.m. and was upset with him. The suspect went into the victim's kitchen and collected a bottle of bleach and a bottle of vegetable oil and then went into his room, pouring it all over the clothes in his closet. All in all, the suspect ended up damaging $2,500 worth of clothes.
