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Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files

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I'm Loving It Police responded to a McDonald's on South Boulevard last week after a car in the drive thru refused to pull up to the second window. Responding officers found a man passed out at the wheel of his car, and when they searched him they found two grams of heroin, to nobody's surprise. They also seized the man's Motorola phone, which some officer with a sense of humor valued at $1 in the report.

Wet T-shirt Contest The temperatures have been rising as we get nearer to summer, so what better time to have a slushie dumped down your shirt? That's what happened to a 23-year-old woman at a north Charlotte 7-Eleven last week when another woman "assaulted her by thowing a cup of Slurpee at her chest," according to the report. Despite the hot weather, the victim wasn't happy with the results, and pressed charges on the suspect for assault.

Water Fight That wasn't the only wet and wild ridiculousness to happen at a north Charlotte gas station last week, as things got crazy at a Circle K on University Boulevard on the same day as the incident described above. According to the report, a man was denied entrance into the convenience store at about noon "because of his behavior," and he responded by picking up four cases of bottled water and a bag of ice and throwing them all across the parking lot "in a fit." In the end, the man did $23 in damage before fleeing the scene on foot.

You Suck Vacuums were at the center of a few police reports in Charlotte last week _ that's right, vacuums — and your trusty Blotter reporter is here to bring you the two most WTF ones of the week. First, at a SecurCare Self Storage on Independence Boulevard, someone attached a chain to a large vacuum unit and pulled it off of its mounted base at 3:45 a.m., doing $676 in damage. In an unrelated incident, a 34-year-old Hickory Grove woman filed a report claiming identity theft after someone allegedly used her name, date of birth and social security number to purchase a vacuum cleaner, although the suspect apparently used their own money in the transaction, leaving us to wonder ... umm, what?

Show and Tell A young boy's dreams of working construction were dashed at Newell Elementary School last week after he was admonished for bringing his dad's tools in to share with the class. According to the report, "A student was excited about showing his classmates a work tool belonging to his father, who works construction." The vague report does not specify exactly what the kid brought in, but it definitely warranted a response, because it goes on to state, "The students [sic] friends told there [sic] teacher, she took the tool and contacted the principal. Parents were contacted and they came to the school immediately." Well, WHAT WAS IT? I've got a lot of guesses, but I'm still between nail gun and power saw.

Take a Hint A suspect in east Charlotte may have been just trying to send his family member a message last week, but in the end, he took things too far. Police responded to an assault call in the Silverwood area and found a 20-year-old man who told police one of his family members threw a bottle of body wash at him, then grabbed his neck and hair. Maybe he was just showing him, "This is where you need to wash!" Or maybe he's just a violent asshole.

Bob and Weave Police responded to an armed robbery call at a hair salon in the Ayrsley area last week and found four employees who had been assaulted, but not with any of the weapons usually used in robberies. According to the report, two suspects came into Tisun Beauty Supply and immediately began spraying all the employees with pepper spray. While everyone else in the store ducked for cover, the suspects grabbed $300 worth of weave and left the store. Four employees were treated for minor injuries, with just one going to the hospital to be treated.

All That Effort A suspect smashed his way into a Subway at the Galleria last week, only to find that all his work was for naught. Police responded after the suspect used a rock to smash the front window of the store at 3:30 a.m. then made his way to the register. The suspect made off with the store's empty cash till, but hey, that in itself is worth $100, according to the report. He did $300 worth of damage to the store window during his fruitless venture.

Handouts Employees at a Dunkin' Donuts on South College Street called police after they were threatened by a woman who felt wronged by the company and planned to come back for what she was owed. The reporting person told police that the woman called the store at 8:30 a.m. and stated that she and her boyfriend were on the way there and planned to "tear the place up," according to police. Employees told police they knew who the woman was, and that she was "upset due to not getting her free cup of coffee."

All stories are pulled from police reports at CMPD headquarters. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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