Proxy War A 26-year-old man filed a police report last week after his ex-girlfriend stole from him through a third party. The man told officers that he and his girlfriend had broken up, but that she needed to get her stuff out of his home in the Belmont neighborhood. Not trusting her to come back into his home, he told her to send a friend to do the job for her. She sent a man to collect her belongings, and while he was there, he stole a $400 laptop and a $400 TV from the victim.
Tossed Salad In more troubled relationship news, a 47-year-old woman was attacked by a family member of her boyfriend and couldn't get away even after the suspect was arrested. The woman told police that her boyfriends' niece threw a salad bowl at her, then grabbed a pack of cigarette from her hands. The victim told officers that she ended up with lacerations on her shoulder during the altercation, but wasn't sure how. Police also reported that the suspect attempted to kick the victim even after she had been arrested and was in handcuffs. Next time, just ask nicely for a cigarette.
No Fucks Given While shoplifting a single beer is one of the more common crimes seen in the CMPD police reports on a daily basis, two suspects in west Charlotte last week were especially brazen with their theft. According to the report, two men walked into a Compare Foods on Freedom Drive and walked directly to the beer aisle. They picked out a 12-ounce can of Bud Light and opened it, then passed it back and forth right there in the store, drinking it until it was done. When a security officer confronted the men as they walked out of the store, one of the suspects stated that he was going to return to the store and shoot it up, then pushed the guard.
Suckered Carolina Panthers lineman Trai Turner has a certain hashtag that he uses regularly on Instagram and Twitter, #Svckafree, which represents the way he lives his life. It looks as though one recent visitor to his home did actually take him for a sucker, however, as the person walked out with more than $10,000 worth of Turner's jewelry. Turner reported that a known suspect stole a gold rope chain with a diamond pendant reading "Svckafree" on it worth $6,000 and a white gold link chain also with a "Svckafree" pendant worth the same amount from his home in north Charlotte.
Into the Mist A police officer responded to Eastway Middle School after a kid was put in timeout but decided to have some fun with it. Staffmembers told the officer that a teacher placed the misbehaving child outside of the class by himself — probably not the best idea — in order to cool off. The kid took that "cooling off period" a bit too literally, however, as he then took a fire extinguisher off the wall and sprayed it throughout the hallway before fleeing the scene. After watching the surveillance footage, administrators found the child and he was disciplined further by the school.
Bugging Out A 51-year-old man in southwest Charlotte called police after his bizarre threat against the person he lives with didn't carry the weight he thought it would. The man admitted he was arguing with the suspect when he threatened to spray Raid Ant and Roach Killer into the suspect's eyes, "blinding him for life." According to the report, the victim then put down the Raid (big mistake), and the suspect picked up a gun — which can do a hell of a lot more than blind someone for life — and pointed it at the victim. Finding no match for this new threat, the victim picked up his phone and said he was calling police, at which time the suspect drove off and did not return for as long as police were on the scene.
Aer-head While spraying aerosol chemicals in someone's face can be seen as a threat to most, for some it's simply leisure. Police responded to a call at a Walmart on North Tryon Street regarding a man who was allegedly hanging out in a car in the parking lot huffing aerosol cans. The suspect was transported to a nearby hospital by Medic, but later signed out against doctor's orders and refused medical treatment. In his defense, it's doubtful he has a great health insurance plan.
Cold Blooded A 76-year-old man suffered a scary incident in southwest Charlotte, but perhaps more scary was the realization he was forced to make later that his daughter is evil. The man was transported to the hospital by ambulance during a medical emergency one night, but before he left, he gave his wallet to his adult, live-in daughter for safekeeping. Apparently that was the wrong person to give it to, because when he returned home his daughter was nowhere to be found, and when he checked his bank account he found that someone used his debit card to spend $150.
Jacked Up A 64-year-old man in west Charlotte called police last week after someone threw a car jack through his windshield during an argument and then left the scene. The suspect fled before anyone could inform them that that is not the proper use of a car jack.