Sibling Rivalry A 28-year-old man called police to his home in east Charlotte last week after a knock-down, drag-out fight with his brother. The man said he was arguing with his brother when things got physical, and then quickly elevated well past the rough and tumble days of their childhood. The victim told police that during the fight, his brother began punching him in the face, and then threw a flat-screen television — not at him, as one would expect, but according to the report, "on the victim's head."
Mildly Inconvenient A 46-year-old woman filed a report for harassment last week, but instead of the normal repeated calls to her home or workplace, this time the creep got creative. The woman told officers that the suspect first began ordering multiple pizzas to be sent to her southeast Charlotte home. Then, he stepped things up by calling Duke Energy and requesting service to her home, so that a representative showed up and she had to send them home. Then, the suspect called a carpet cleaning company and booked an appointment for her house, which she again turned away when the cleaners arrived. The woman told officers that she had lost no money due to the harassment, and she did not believe she was in danger, but she would rather it stopped because it is annoying.
Weird Weapons A 41-year-old man called police last week after he was threatened with a simple arts and crafts tool in southeast Charlotte. The man told officers that the suspect "confronted him in a threatening manner" while holding a pair of scissors. It must not have been too threatening of a manner, because the victim was able to disarm the suspect on his own and call police from a neighbor's phone. A 35-year-old woman would have loved for her attacker to be holding scissors compared to what she had to deal with in the University area last week. The woman told police she was in an argument when the suspect punched her in the face and then poured urine on her. It's unclear from the report why the person had urine at the ready in a container that could be poured out.
Close Call Police officers in "Snoopy," the CMPD's helicopter, found Charlotte's skies to be none too friendly when they were flying near Uptown last week, as they survived a near miss that they didn't see until the last moment. The officers reported that they were flying about 600 feet above South Mint Street at around 9 p.m. when suddenly they realized they were on a crash course with a drone, which could realistically hit a propeller and crash the chopper. The officers said the drone got within 20 feet of the helicopter before the CMPD pilot was able to veer away. Ground units searched nearby for the person controlling the drone but were unable to find them.
Rolling Out The most disheartening thing about being disabled can often be the way able-bodied people avert their glance when they see someone in a wheelchair, but one person in southwest Charlotte decided to use that unfortunate fact to their advantage last week. Employees at DSW Shoes in Carolina Pavilion called police after they caught a disabled person and their able-bodied partner trying to use their wheelchair to shoplift. The employees told officers they stopped the duo coming out of the store with three pairs of shoes hidden underneath the seat of the wheelchair.
Fuck Your Food An 18-year-old man went to police after an ongoing beef with a local man in east Charlotte ended up ruining a meal for him. The young man told officers that he was walking down the street with a bag of food in his hand when a man rode up behind him on a bicycle and knocked the bag out of his hands, spilling the food on the road. He told police he had exchanged some words with the suspect at a prior date. On the bright side, that's better than shooting the poor kid, which is how folks seem to settle their arguments more often than not these days.
Can't Find Comfort A police officer filed a report about an attempted theft after witnessing the crime in action while patrolling in Uptown last week. The officer said he was driving along Poplar Street near 9th Street when he saw a man walking off a patio and onto the sidewalk holding a set of large seat cushions. The officer found this odd, so he continued to follow behind the man and soon enough, the owner of the home whose patio the suspect had just left came running out yelling for him to drop the cushions. The man dropped the cushions and tried to run, but soon thereafter stopped when he realized a cop was already behind him. He was arrested and the victim was able to keep his large, if now dirty, seat cushions.
Nice Find Police responded to the Optimist Park neighborhood near Uptown last week after someone was apparently rummaging through the bushes along Brevard Street and found what was described as a "one-handed sword." If you have the time in your day to go rummaging through random roadside bushes, you must be praying to find something as cool as a sword. So why then turn around and turn it in to police? These are the big questions of our time.