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The Blotter: Heads Up

Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files

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Off With Their Head It's a normal occurrence for folks to steal hair from beauty boutiques in Charlotte, but they usually leave the mannequins modeling the wigs alone, for God's sake. Such was not the case at Material Girl Boutique on North Tryon Street last week, when an unknown suspect walked out of the store with a $600 wig and couldn't even be bothered to take if off of the $25 mannequin head that it was displayed on.

Running Scared A traffic stop on I-85 last week yielded an average 2-year-old's weight in meth, a healthy reminder for all drug traffickers going between CLT and ATL to keep the speed down and follow the rules of the road. Police estimated that the 27 pounds of meth found in the suspects' car could be valued at about $200,000. Somebody's boss is not going to be happy.

Ax the Lorax An unknown suspect took weed whacking to the next level when they started whacking trees on Fortescue Drive in University City last week. The suspect used an unknown object to inflict pain on the foliage, doing $100 in damage. Plant violence is never oak-ay, and the suspect must be held accountable, that son of a birch.

Off the Deep End It's hot as hell right now, and our next suspect was willing to do anything to gain access to an area pool. After kicking through a sliding glass door to break into an empty home on Redding Glen Avenue in north Charlotte, the suspect kicked holes in the wall and then went looking for something to steal. The suspect ended up making off with a garage door opener and two key fobs to the community pool, so police should probably check there for their man.

If You Got 'Em The things people will do for cigarettes. Employees at a Rite Aid on South Tryon Street were perplexed when they were doing inventory last week and found that they were missing $1,700 worth of cigarettes. Hoping to keep their jobs and not be blamed themselves, the employees began going through surveillance footage from the last month. They found that at 4:30 p.m. on May 12, two weeks prior to the discovery, two unknown men had grabbed many cartons of cigarettes and fled the store while employees were distracted.

We Will Rock You "Ok kids, can you spell P-E-N-I-T-E-N-T-I-A-R-Y?" If these suspects are caught, they might be in for a vocabulary lesson. A teacher at Allenbrook Elementary in west Charlotte reported that students threw rocks at his car during recess, cracking the windshield and causing $300 in damages. It's unclear if this was deserved or if the kids are just bullies, but the teacher is now looking to question the adults who supervised this ruthless recess.

Finders Keepers It's been over two weeks since a delivery went wrong at Bradford Commons Apartment Homes in east Charlotte, and police have now gotten involved after the mistaken recipients decided they earned their keep. According to the folks meant to get the package, it contained nothing but clothes hangers and five bottles of herbal supplements. Since the mix-up, the residents that received the package have gone MIA — not returning the package and ignoring requests from the rightful owner to get it back. This leaves us to wonder, just how good are these supplements?

Set the Table Perhaps the worst part of having your furniture stolen is knowing that you have to spend another weekend figuring out how to put 80 bazillion new IKEA parts together. This is the reality for one resident of the Avalon Heights Apartments in east Charlotte, who reported to police around 5 p.m. that a suspect broke into her home and stole the dining room table and chairs.

Shrimp Cocktail Stuffing your pockets with seafood is never a good idea, no matter how badly you want it. You either wind up smelling like a fish or like this suspect, who was caught concealing merchandise in a Walmart on South Tryon Street last week. Security guards stopped the suspect as he tried to leave the store with his pants full of shrimp and crab legs at around 5 p.m. They'll be serving something a little less appetizing in jail, unfortunately.

Gone Gun Another member of our well-regulated militia proved why a mandatory IQ test before buying a gun could be a start in the fight for stricter gun policies in this country. The "victim" in this case called police to report his nine-millimeter Taurus handgun missing, although he couldn't exactly place it after a long night on the town. The man told officers that he had no idea where the gun was, as he had been the passenger in multiple vehicles between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. the previous night, and it could be in any one of those.

All stories are pulled from police reports at CMPD headquarters. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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