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The Blotter: Don't Cry

Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files (Aug. 17-23)



Spilt Milk A 22-year-old woman in northeast Charlotte was tested on the old expression about crying over spilled milk last week when someone vandalized her car. The woman told police that a known suspect broke the door handle off of her Chevrolet Suburban then spilled milk all over the car's interior. No word in the report whether she cried or not.

Always a Bridesmaid A 23-year-old woman living in southwest Charlotte is going to be the outcast of a wedding she'll be in soon after having her dress stolen. The woman told police she had the custom-made bridesmaid dress, worth $150, mailed to her home. But before she could collect it from the porch, someone else swooped in and collected it for her, leaving her the odd-woman out among her fellow bridesmaids.

Your MCM Police responded to a call about a suspicious person in west Charlotte at around 1:30 a.m. one night last week and found a man who had been sleeping in his car — behind a mattress factory, ironically enough — but at the time of their arrival was throwing up due to being overly drunk. Medics took the man to the hospital, but before doing so, they informed police that the man was armed. Police took his black Cobra .380 as found property, since he had shown he wasn't exactly in the right mind state to be carrying at the time.

Trap House A 33-year-old man and his buddy filed a police report after being quite literally kicked out of a bar in west Charlotte last week. The man told police he was at Sand Trap Bar & Billiards on Westinghouse Boulevard when a man approached him and asked him to leave. Then, "for no reason," according to the man, the suspect punched him. He said he was then punched and kicked by the suspect and two other men. At some point, a fourth man took a swing at the victim's friend, who was trying to help get him out of the bar.

Thirst Quencher Police responded to a Walmart on Pineville-Matthews Road last week after management there realized that an employee had stolen a remarkable amount of money from the business, then rubbed salt (or soda) in the wound. Management told officers that the suspect had stolen $1,470 from the building while working as a cashier for a little under a month, and then for good measure, he even stole a $1 bottle of soda during his embezzlement spree.

It's Gone The manager at Roses discount store on The Plaza called police last week after someone stole something from their store, even though they didn't know what it was. It's unclear how the manager knew something was taken, but in the report, it states that "the manager has no idea what was taken."

Locked Out A 37-year-old woman called police when she came home one afternoon last week to realize that she couldn't get into her University area house. Nobody had changed the locks on her, however, but had taken a more DIY approach instead. The suspect stuck some very small material into her front door keyhole so that she was unable to unlock it.

Safety First The point of a hotel safe is to keep things safe, hence the name, but it doesn't quite work if you leave things in there for the next visitor or family to find. Police responded to the Omni hotel in Uptown last week after someone who was cleaning out a room opened up a safe to find that the previous visitor, a 24-year-old man from Evans, Georgia, had left a handgun with a magazine, 18 rounds of ammunition and a holster in the safe.

Freshen Up A 29-year-old man called police after someone bombed his south Charlotte home ... with cologne. The man told police that he was at home at around 11 p.m. one night when some unknown suspect threw two bottles of perfume through his front windows, causing them to shatter in his home. If this was an ex-girlfriend, it's safe to say you need to take a hint.

Angry Drunk Police responded to the scene of a melee in southwest Charlotte to find one woman who had decided to show everyone in her house that she wasn't to be fucked with. Witnesses told police the suspect had been drinking when she got upset, and once that happened, it was on. She assaulted three people in the house, including two men 35 and 49 years old. One of the men was her husband, so she was arrested for domestic violence and simple assault.

Bait and Switch Employees at a local jewelry store filed a police report after they were scammed into buying a fake gold bracelet. The employees at Ballantyne Jewelers told police that the suspects came in and showed them a gold bracelet, which store associates verified as real before offering them $500 for it. The suspects agreed, but then at some point before the bracelet actually changed hands, a suspect switched the bracelet with a fake one when the associates looked the other way. The associates were easily able to tell the difference, but not before the suspects left the business with the $500.

For Christ's Sake Police responded to a counterfeiting call at the Lifeway Christian Store near the Northlake Mall last week after an unknown suspect got away with fooling someone who was doing God's work. Police who responded to the scene weren't very sympathetic, as they made sure to add salt to the wound in the report, stating that the two fake $100 bills passed by the suspects "were in poor quality and were obviously fake." Well clearly not to whomever was working that day.

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