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The Blotter: Bottle Service

Bizarre crime from Charlotte police files

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Room Service Police responded to the Ritz Carlton in Uptown last week after someone at the bar decided to take the party back to their room — the bathroom. An employee at the bar told officers that when his back was turned the suspect reached over the bar and picked up two bottles of Absolut vodka then calmly walked to the bathroom with them to drink the liquor there. The best part about this incident: It took place at 11:55 a.m.

Reasonable Reaction It takes some people a while to take down their Christmas decorations — some because they're lazy and some because they're waiting until the right fit of anger to make them burn it all down. That was apparently the case for one man in Uptown Charlotte who used his rage to help inspire him to clear out his home of dated decorations. According to the report, officers arrived to the man's condo on East 7th Street in late January after he "became angry at the outcome of a basketball game and lit his Christmas tree on fire." The man then picked the burning tree up and threw it out onto the street before any more damage was done.

It's Raining Men It's unclear whether a 43-year-old man trying to exit the freeway was the victim or a suspect in an incident that occured near Westinghouse Boulevard last week, but one thing is clear: He got punched square in the nose. The driver called police last week after he pulled up on the I-485 exit ramp at Westinghouse and stopped at a red light before suddenly finding his car under attack (or finding out that he had run someone over due to his own inability to pay attention, but it's hard to say from the report alone). The man told officers that he "was in the process of starting his right turn when he heard a sound and the suspect was on his hood." The suspect then allegedly jumped off the hood and yelled at the driver before punching him in the nose and fleeing the scene on foot.

Superman Another man was attacked by someone desperate for money in a trucking company parking lot in north Charlotte last week, but the suspect wasn't about to flee the scene without going batshit crazy first. Police responded to a lot on North Graham Street after a man allegedly climbed into a semi-truck and shook the driver by the coat while demanding money. The victim drove off, but when an officer arrived on the scene and located the suspect, the suspect pushed the officer in the chest then ran through a glass door of the guard shack on the lot, shattering it, before he was taken into custody.

Walk Off A 49-year-old disabled man in west Charlotte fell victim to one of the more cold-blooded Blotter suspects we've seen in some time. The man told officers he was riding his $7,000 electric wheelchair down Old Steele Creek Road when he was approached by a suspect he hadn't seen before. The suspect demanded that the victim get out of the wheelchair, and then, according to the report, "the victim got up and the suspect took the chair and walked away with it." You don't even need the damn chair! What you do need is Jesus.

Deer Hunter Police got involved after a man found two deer carcasses in his University City front yard last week and reported them to the North Carolina Wildlife Agency. The man said he heard gunshots overnight between 12:20 and 12:30 a.m., and woke up at 10 a.m. to find that someone had killed two deer right in his yard. Detectives collected a few spent .40-caliber casings from the scene of the slayings, "for possible suspect identification and prosecution," according to the report, because the deer are out of season and they were killed in city limits. A new great idea to pitch to the folks at A&E would be First 48: The Hunted. Break us off if you make it a success.

Do They Transform? With pills flooding the streets these day, drug dealers are having to get creative to keep their clientele coming back. Police found a new one in south Charlotte last week during a drug bust in a neighborhood behind Charlotte Catholic High School. Police searched a car during a traffic stop there last week and came out with a 15-gram bag of weed and six pills, all of which were rainbow-colored and "shaped like Transformers," according to the report.

Eating Good An elderly woman in north Charlotte checked her credit card bill last week only to find that someone had been eating for free on her tab for the entire month. The woman said she found an alarming set of charges on the bill that all took place between January 2 and 30. According to the 91-year-old victim, someone had used her credit card number to order Postmates enough times to rack up $2,300 in food charges. The woman was able to file the fraudulent charges with her credit company and police are looking into the addresses where the food was delivered.

All stories are pulled from police reports at CMPD headquarters. Suspects are innocent until proven guilty.