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Simply gross



I'm a 67-year-old woman, almost 68, who has been married four times -- once widowed (with three kids in their 40s who've turned out pretty well), divorced three times. I recently met someone online: 48, a wealthy, educated man with two boys, 12 and 14. He lives the cuckoldt lifestyle and is looking for a woman to marry who would participate and enjoy this with him. He says he "craves and needs" this lifestyle, and from what he's said so far, the boys have been trained from an early age to also live this lifestyle and would require that the woman he marries include them in all ways.

I've done some research and think I could be quite happy being a dominant. However, my concern is that he wants me to be sexual with the boys. He says that at home they practice familial nudity. He also wants me to take each one to a hotel on their respective birthdays (he doesn't say at what age) and take their virginities. He has also suggested that, once we are living together, if I wake up horny I should go to one of the boys' rooms and "grind my cunt into his face and fuck the boy." I think this is excessive and could traumatize the boys. I don't know if this type of extreme behavior is just fantasy for him or if he is serious.

If I like this man after meeting him, I would consider this lifestyle, but with boundaries where the boys are concerned. As the dominant, what I say goes, no questions asked (he has agreed to this in a recent IM), but I think we need to find a balance.

I'm interested in your thoughts on all of this. Thank you.

New To Cuckholdting

What do I think? I'm thinking -- and hoping and praying -- that this letter is complete bullshit. And I think I'm gonna go boil my laptop after writing this response. And I think I'm tempted to forward your e-mail on to the police. And I think I would do just that if I wasn't convinced that this man with whom you've been corresponding -- assuming you exist, NTC -- is just another creepy pervert furiously beating off in front of a computer as he spins out his insanely creepy sexual fantasies for a gullible online audience of one.

But two details lead me to believe that there could actually be a four-times-married, thrice-divorced, once-widowed moral bankrupt out there receiving e-mails and IMs from a man who claims to be into "the cuckoldt lifestyle," "familial nudity," and the sexual abuse of his adolescent children: your age and your inability to spell "cuckold." If a creep with child-rape fantasies wrote this letter, NTC, you wouldn't be 67 going on 68 with reservations. You would be 37 at the most with DD breasts, and you would've spelled cuckold correctly. (Unless ... sigh ... the creep was into intergenerational sex and lousy spellers on top of everything else.)

Now: If this man and his children exist, NTC, he's abusing his children and they should be removed from his home immediately. He's scum, NTC, as is any woman who would for a moment contemplate shacking up with this piece of shit. Because, again, what your Interwebs friend describes is not the "cuckoldt lifestyle," it's the rape and systematic sexual abuse of children. A man who is into cuckolding gets off on his wife having consensual sex with other adult men, not his children; a woman into cuckolding gets off on "cheating" on her husband with other adult men, not her minor stepchildren.

Once again for the record: I don't think this guy is for real or that these kids exist. I think some creepy pervert is sitting in front of a computer furiously rubbing 'em out as he chats with you. Interacting with someone on the Web who believes that he's telling the truth -- someone who believes that he's wealthy, educated, and has two boys at home anxious to be sexually abused by a woman old enough to be their grandmother -- turns him on. And so he lurks online until he lands someone gullible and morally bereft enough to buy in.

OK! Let's end with a note about standards and practices here at Savage Love: I typically change identifying details in a letter -- exact ages, number of divorces, number of children -- lest someone inadvertently out themselves to their family and friends. I didn't do that in NTC's case, because I'm praying to God that -- if NTC exists -- one of her children sees this letter and recognizes dear ol' Mom. And if her kids are reading: Hey, guys, it's time to take Mom's cars keys, credit cards and computer away. Dementia has set in, or Mom's been demented all along. Either way, she's a danger to herself and others, and you might want to stage an intervention before the criminal-justice system does.

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