TWO TEENS AT CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN SCHOOL IN MATTHEWS THREATEN TO SHOOT FELLOW STUDENTS

Looks like the Second Amendment has trumped that "Blessed are the peacemakers" nonsense.

FEDS WANT TO CUT NUMBER OF NC'S CANADa GEESE BY TWO-THIRDS

Hey, maybe they can get those two Matthews kids to help out.

REP. SUE MYRICK'S FALSE "AL QAIDA-CROSSING-THE-BORDER" CLAIM IS AN "HONEST MISTAKE."

Well, there's a first time for everything.

NEW YORK TIMES COLUMNIST DAVID BROOKS IS A STRAIGHT UP SUCKER MC!

The armchair sociologist kicked wack flow recently, analyzing French gangsta rap and riots and claiming poor Muslim agitators are caught "between Osama bin Laden and Tupac Shakur." Um-kay.

BUSH TELLS CHINESE THEY SHOULD BE MORE LIKE TAIWAN

Good idea -- Bush hasn't put the US economy in hock to them. Yet.

COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS MOVED TO NEW YORK CITY

Kind of like awarding the Tonys in Monroe.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"Just because they're too old to hear their music doesn't mean it has to be so loud." -- San Franciscan Ted Weinstein, complaining about decibel level of Rolling Stones show miles from his house.