DUKE POWER WANTS TO CHARGE FOR WATER FROM ITS CATAWBA RIVER RESERVOIRS Citizens to offset costs by charging Duke for polluting the air.
MAIN LIBRARY CLOSES CHILDREN'S DEPT., READIES FOR MOVE TO IMAGINON
Great. Just when we'd figured out a smart way to park the kids while we got our books from the library.
HUNTERSVILLE FAMILY USES EBAY TO SELL AD SPACE ON BABY CLOTHING
How much for a CL logo tattoo?
US MILITARY VETERAN BILL MOYER, 73, WEARS "BULLSHIT PROTECTOR" FLAPS OVER HIS EARS DURING BUSH SPEECH TO VFW
Hey diehard Bush defenders, this is called backbone. Try it sometime.
UK SETS NEW RULES FOR DEPORTING HATE PREACHERS
Great idea -- why hasn't Washington thought of it? Bye-bye, Pat Robertson.
ROCK HILL HERALD DRAGGED, EQUIVOCALLY, INTO NEW CENTURY
Runs gay commitment ceremony announcement. Editor's defense: Hey, we didn't put it on the wedding page.
NEW AUTO "FUEL ECONOMY" STANDARDS EXEMPT HUMMERS AND EXCURSIONS FROM ANY STANDARDS
W continues "No Millionaire Left Behind" policies -- who else can afford to gas up one of those monsters?
SCHOOL'S BACK IN. WATCH OUT FOR THAT CHILD!
Run for the hills -- he's gonna try to sell you candy or magazines!
DUTCH REALITY TV SHOW FOLLOWS WOMAN LOOKING FOR A SPERM DONOR
What else can we say? Reality has once again trumped satire.