If you couldn't get enough of Sarah Palin's surreal mix of lies and fractured syntax last week, you're in luck. One Internet smart-aleck described Palin's thoughts during her Oprah interview as "stream of unconsciousness," while another said of her tweets, "If fortune cookies were written by high school dropouts, that's what they'd look like." A friend suggested that some of her tweets were "so weird, they could be early Dylan lyrics," which inspired us to devise this Super-Exclusive CL Quiz: Bob & Sarah's Surreal World of Words. Think of it as a complement to a Dylan vs. Politicians quiz we ran two or three years ago.
Below are 20 quotes. Ten of them are statements by La Palin, 10 are lyrics from Bob Dylan songs. Note that some Palin tweets have been spelled out normally. How many quotes can you identify? Answers are at the bottom of the column.
1. I'm like, OK, God, if there's an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door.
2. Her profession is her religion, her sin is her lifelessness.
3. Country music's streaming and the countryside's screaming inspiration for a pro-development and pro-enviro message.
4. At midnight all the agents and the superhuman crew come out and round up everyone that knows more than they do.
5. Mama Bear brazenly rises up and doesn't look to anyone else to hand her anything.
6. There have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American.
7. The man standing next to me, his head was exploding. I was praying the pieces wouldn't fall on me.
8. I looked at my watch, I looked at my wrist, I punched myself in the face with my fist.
9. Only dead fish go with the flow.
10. Here comes the blind commissioner, they've got him in a trance. One hand is tied to the tightrope walker, the other is in his pants.
11. No drought threat down here, ever, but consistent rain reminds us: No rain? No rainbow!
12. With his businesslike anger and his bloodhounds that kneel, if he needs a third eye he just grows it.
13. Sensing summer already winding down with fireweed near full bloom, listening to Big & Rich.
14. Seen the arrow on the doorpost saying, "This land is condemned, all the way from New Orleans to Jerusalem."
15. The roving gambler he was very bored, trying to create a next world war.
16. Pure, healthy, abundant protein, exciting initiative rolled out in New York.
Don't fear critics, save the salmon.
17. Nothing, no nothing, is more important than safety of our babies, I say Life's most precious ingredient.
18. The preacher looked so baffled when I asked him why he dressed with twenty pounds of headlines stapled to his chest.
19. They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.
20. You got gangsters in power and lawbreakers making rules.
Who Said That?
1. Sarah Palin
2. Bob Dylan, "Desolation Row"
3. Sarah Palin
4. Bob Dylan, "Desolation Row"
5. Sarah Palin
6. Sarah Palin
7. Bob Dylan, "Day of the Locusts"
8. Bob Dylan, "Million Dollar Bash"
9. Sarah Palin
10. Bob Dylan, "Desolation Row"
11. Sarah Palin
12. Bob Dylan, "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window?"
13. Sarah Palin
14. Bob Dylan, "Blind Willie McTell"
15. Bob Dylan, "Highway 61 Revisited"
16. Sarah Palin
17. Sarah Palin
18. Bob Dylan, "Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again"
19. Sarah Palin
20. Bob Dylan, "When You Gonna Wake Up?"