Music » Brittney After Dark

Of patios and the single life ...


I spent the last Creative Lounging with Simplified camped out on the back patio of Tilt helping the boys paint. What's unusual about that is not that I was painting a patio in a cocktail dress, but that I was being anti-social. Something must be wrong with me.

In fact, there is ... I am flypaper for freaks. That, and I'm a bit of a freak.

Sure, I have a pretty cool job, but let me tell you: It doesn't matter how many people love you for what you do. At the end of the day, when there's no one there who really loves you for who you are ... well, you're still lonely. It's hard for me to date considering I am always working (in the nightlife industry nonetheless). But I'm also a production coordinator, dance teacher, Tylenol spokesperson and overall nerd. Persistence is a prerequisite by default. But then I'm "too busy" or my "phone rings too much." I have dating stories so horrifically comical they've been published in national magazines, and leave it up to me to fall in love for the first time with a man who sees commitment as knocking me up.

Anyway, speaking of Tilt's patio ...

'Tis the season to sit out in the summer sun and soak up some vitamin-D with our beverages ... That makes them healthier, right?

Just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song -- every Charlotte neighborhood has its patio.

Myers Park has Selwyn Pub, South End has Macs, NoDa has Solstice Tavern, Uptown has HOM (the Feast level patio that just opened), as well as The McNinch House, a mini-Biltmore with a wine garden and croquet set open for happy hour. SouthPark has M5 and Dilworth and Plaza Midwood both also have a plethora of patios.

I'd always heard M5 was a "cougar" den, and I can confirm that's not just a suburban legend. When I went for the patio opening, I was surrounded by MILFs and botox babes. And it hit me: I might, gasp, become a cougar one day.

If all else fails, I guess I could go on a reality show. The casting director for The Bachelorette actually called me requesting a tape. Perhaps because she knows that unless someone rounds up 25 men for me to conveniently date, I am going to end up a cougar. Thanks Victoria from ABC, but I would rather have the flu than have drama, and I would rather play in traffic than play games. Perhaps I am just in need of a good humping. But for now I'll settle for throwing out the first pitch at the Knights game on June 19 ... Singles Night. Sigh.

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