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"We have a pretty open group of friends, and the majority of them still get high," Kelly continued. "I don't judge them for it, but there are times at parties when I'm thinking, "Grow the fuck up.' There seems to be two different camps. Some people say, "I don't have to divulge what I do to my kids.' They basically find a way to justify their behavior because it's something they still want to do. And a lot of times these are really engaged people who want to do the right thing. Then there's the other camp, instead of dealing with an incongruency or having to lie, they've just given it (drugs) up. It seems like having kids should put everything on the line, but from what I've seen, it often doesn't."
Out of the Ozone
Joe and Nellie both grew up at the height of the Vietnam War and the countercultural reaction against it. They have a 15-year-old daughter. Joe remembers smoking pot during anti-war protests in the late 60s and very early 70s.
"Heck, I remember after the Kent State shootings, my college campus became like a war zone and at one point a lot of us who were protesting were pepper-gassed. It was awful, but I just headed over, as best I could, to a friend's room in a nearby dorm. He put wet cloths on my eyes for the pepper spray, and then we smoked a couple of big joints and went back out into the fray and started protesting again. I mean, that was college in those days. Drugs, especially pot and hashish, were just part of the lifestyle."
Joe became involved with other drugs, too, especially LSD. "In those days the doses were pure, and about 20 times what they are now, at least that's what I've read -- I kept it up for about three years, then it just became repetitive and tiresome so I quit. But at the same time, I was experimenting with other hallucinogens like psylocibin and mescaline; plus, cocaine, methamphetamine, and barbiturates, which I used to get to sleep after tripping; and even heroin for a short time, but that didn't last long.
"Using so much acid certainly opened up my view of the world," Joe chuckles, "but I have to admit I was "in the ozone,' as we said then, for a few years after I quit. I just didn't know what end was up, as far as practical life was concerned; and I'm convinced it (the acid) fried some brain cells. I have your standard middle-age memory loss, but the joke with my friends is that my memory was never that good to begin with. That's not something I want my daughter to go through."
Joe and his wife both gave up drugs by the early 80s. He says he's been pretty forthright with his daughter about drugs.
"It hasn't come up a lot, but we've let her know how we feel; at 15, she's simply too young and still unformed mentally to be experimenting with drugs. I've been honest about my own drug use when she's asked, but I'm careful to use it as a way to explain things about both sides of the recreational drug equation. I just think honesty's the best policy. There's no use denying that pot use is a fairly common way of having fun in a social situation for young people these days, but I want her to know that I've done that and explain to her why she should wait, and then be very careful if she chooses to use it later. I tell her, too, that overdoing it can screw you up, including clouding your judgment and doing jail time if you're caught. Personally, I think most drug use should be legalized and government-controlled, just like with alcohol, but that's not the way it is and you can get in big trouble. But I can't be a "Just Say No' Reaganite, I think the war on drugs is bullshit. Even so, though, I have to be sure my daughter understands the seriousness of what can happen if you're caught with drugs -- and that's in addition to the warnings about the effects that excessive drug use can have on your life, your motivation, and so forth. The ancient Greeks said it best, "Everything in moderation.' But watch out for those narcs."
