I often get asked the question, "What are you?" ... Spanish? Hawaiian? Italian? Persian? I'm effin human -- does it matter what breed of it I'm mixed with? Well, according to the Census, it does. And apparently Hispanic is an origin, not a race. Thank you for clearing up that identity crisis for me, U.S. Census Bureau.

So they say the Census will help our communities ... does that include nightlife?

Every club has a "list," but I'm beginning to get the impression said list is more like a checklist ...

1. Age 21 and up?

2. Dress code approved? This applies more so to the guys. I could get in wearing sweatpants and a wife beater before a dude with a jersey on.

3. Male or female? No club wants to be a meat locker -- so they try and keep a 70-30 ratio, meaning 70 percent girls. Preferably, they are hot girls to increase the odds that the other 30 percent are men with money to buy them drinks.

4. White or black? ... is race a part of said checklist?

Apparently to some clubs it is. Recently two (black) Panthers players were denied admittance into a club. I bet that place feels like the store on Rodeo Drive that denied Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. It was later explained that the bouncer was instructed to be selective so the club wouldn't be "taken over."

I'm confused ... is that a universal close-minded term to describe co-existing in a bar?

And then there's the time I got an e-mail from an "urban" promoter with the subject line, "CIAA party: Do not open if you're not black."

I may be color-blind, but I can see what's happening here. My questions is, where do we draw the line between cultural differences and racist segregation?

Perhaps I'm just confused because I have to check a lot of boxes on the Census, but I'm pretty sure money is green -- not white or black. Maybe this isn't an issue as dramatic as racism, but more like high school cliques. It's 2010 -- can we grow up already?