It takes something of epic proportions to get me to go to BAR Charlotte ... and it-s Mini-Britney, bitch! And I'm not talking about her knocked-up 16-year-old sister. I'm referring to Terra Jole, a hot little person that tours the country performing as a mini Britney Spears.
I had LaVecchia's $2 mini appetizers that they offer before Bobcats arena's home game, and then went and had mini $3 Bud Lights for Thirsty Thursdays with the Charlotte Checkers. To top off my mini themed evening, I went to the Days Inn to meet Mini-Britney before her performance at BAR. I asked her how it feels to be the only remaining thing the regular-sized Britney has in terms of a performing career. "I feel bad for Britney," Jole said. Don't we all.
There is a big talent coming from that little person. She used to be the lead singer of Mini-Kiss (that you might remember from Cans' one year anniversary party) and unlike the real Brit, the mini can sing. She's even coming out with her own single.
When we got to BAR we went to her dressing room where she drank a Red Bull, put on some body glitter and carefully connected her headset to her first layer of costuming. She had Britney's infamous red cat suit under a nude suit, and over that, the sexy stewardess number from the "Toxic" video. She also changed into a school girl outfit that she stripped down to a glittery black bra and panty set to give her debut performance of "Gimme More."
Otis from Kiss 95.1 introduced the "mini-diva with a mega-booty," and she gyrated and shimmied like the real Britney. About the only thing she didn't do realistic was sing, or show her "Britney." I don't think her boyfriend, Mini-Tommy Lee, would've approved. If you missed the mini concert I insist you go to her Web site and see this for yourself. www.mini-britney.com
Jole is 27 and 4'2" -- I'm turning 27 this week and I'm only a foot taller than her ... so does that make me a Mini-Brittney too?
Apparently, BAR has a fetish for little people because on Jan. 31 they're having "midget wrestling."
Meanwhile, at the Beards Because party at Amos' Southend there was nothing mini about the amount of facial hair, or the size of the music venue. Also not minuscule is the amount of money Beards Because raised for Charlotte's Battered Women's Shelter -- more than $20,000 -- and all by not shaving. Hey ladies, why don't we not shave our legs for months to raise money for charity? Anyone? No? OK, bad idea.