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Meth use isn't the same as pot use

Dan Savage says, just say no

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I agree with almost everything you say, Dan, but I have one complaint: You have made several comments over the years bashing meth users! I know, I know — meth has a bad reputation. But people used to say that smoking pot caused insanity! Don't believe the hype! Being a meth addict is not good, but occasional use never hurt anyone. I only do it maybe five times a year, and unlike what you see in anti-meth ads, I'm not crazy, I don't have holes in my skin, and I'm not a junkie. Instead, I'm a straight-A female student from a wealthy suburban family. You know when I really like to get some meth? Around finals, so that I have lots of extra time to study. Stop bashing meth, Dan!

Occasional Meth User

Your pot analogy is a big fail, OMU: Different drugs have different risks, to say nothing of different chemical compositions and psychotropic effects. That anti-drug crusaders overstated the dangers of marijuana to advance their anti-hippie, pro-incarceration, or blatantly racist political agendas does not prove that meth is safe. Meth, unlike pot, is highly addictive. While there's no such thing as a fatal dose of pot, there is such a thing as a fatal dose of meth. And while abusing pot — and pot can be abused — makes a person lethargic and lardy, abusing meth makes a person crazy and dead.

But hey, why should you take my word about meth, college girl? What do I know about meth? It's not like I've ever used meth, right?

"Most meth addicts started out feeling like meth was the perfect fix to a 'problem' like needing extra time to study," says gay porn star Trenton Ducati. "I started out using meth 'occasionally,' too. Pretty much all meth users start out that way. And it's not novel to think your life is in control, and that you've got it all together — everybody who gets addicted to meth thinks that."

Trenton says that people who use meth — even occasionally — are the worst judges of whether they have a meth problem.

"Meth wound up taking me places that I'm sure OMU doesn't want to go," says Trenton. "There is just no way to use meth safely. Even if she is not willing to listen to those who've come before her — and it sounds like she's not — she could at least refrain from promoting a drug that has ruined so many lives." (Gay-porn fans — particularly fans of behind-the-scenes pics of porn shoots — can follow Trenton Ducati on Twitter: @TrentonDucati.)

And maybe you didn't learn the word "sophistry" when you were cramming for the SATs, OMU, but you might want to look it up. It's never too late to expand the ol' vocabulary — or to put down the meth pipe.

I have a super-hot, considerate, caring girlfriend with a high libido with whom I share many long-term goals. The problem is that she bugs the shit out of me. She chews with her mouth open, she listens to music I dislike, and she swears at inappropriate times. I'm in my mid-30s and not sure what I should do. Settle?

Second Thoughts

We have something in common, ST: I once met a guy who was super-hot and caring and considerate, a guy whose libido matched my own and whose long-term goals aligned with mine, and who just so happened to bug the shit out of me.

Here's what I did: I married that motherfucker.

My husband still bugs the shit out of me sometimes, just as I doubtless bug the shit out of him sometimes. But there's no such thing as a bug-free boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/unicorn/gimp/whatever. LTRs are about identifying the bugs that some caring and consistent prodding can fix — like that chewing-with-her-mouth-open shit — and accepting and finally learning to ignore the bugs that no amount of prodding will ever change.

And take it from me, ST: Hot, considerate, caring, similarly libidinous, and shared long-term goals isn't a package that comes along every day. You could do a lot worse.

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