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As Clasen-Kelly explains it, Beverly Otis' feelings are common among those who are at risk of hunger. "The psychological impact of not being able to feed your family is awful," she explained, "you don't feel as if you fit in, that you're really a part of things. It can be devastating."
That devastating feeling is something Mark Jennings and his wife are trying to fend off these days, too. Jennings, a young, married mortgage analyst with a 9-month-old baby girl, lost his job when the Wachovia layoff scythe cut through the company after it was swallowed by Wells Fargo. Jennings, who did not wish to use his real name because he believes it could hurt his chances of getting a new job, says, "I wasn't making as much as some people might think 'mortgage analysts' make, and my wife wasn't working since we had the baby. We managed to keep our condo here, that's one good thing. But we blew through our savings and maxed out our cards in about four months, and there were still no jobs. And, to cut to the chase, one morning I realized I was pretty much out of money, and the only things we had to eat in the house were baby food, Special K and some bananas." About a week later, Mark found himself picking up "a grocery cart full" of food at one of Loaves & Fishes' pantries.
"You know, it was humbling," says Jennings. "At first, I thought of it as humiliating, and I was depressed. But I grew up in a working-class family in Elizabeth City, and I saw other family members who were hard workers, good people. They'd fall on hard times now and again and would need to get help, so that helped me think about our situation the right way -- that we've done our best and sure, our situation sucks, but that doesn't mean we're bad people or anything."
Mark paused, took a deep breath. His eyes moistened as he continued, "The thing is, with [the baby], she's top priority, you know. We can't let her down. This is our first child, and we've both got that 'feed your children' instinct kicking in big time."
That's a feeling Mary Jo Jones knows well. Another L&F client who came to the First Presbyterian pantry for help, Jones is originally from upstate New York and has been in Charlotte almost three years. She receives a monthly Social Security disability check and lives with her daughter and her daughter's three children in north Charlotte. Her daughter lost her job and, before she found another, was told she needed surgery. She's now had two surgeries since December and the expenses, says Jones, "have been overwhelming.
"My one little disability check doesn't cover much," continued Jones, "... years ago, I was a working woman who made really good money, but then I got sick and now, well ... I never thought I would be where I am today. I've had to learn to swallow my pride and come here for food. It's a humbling experience, but the people here are genuine and welcoming, so they make it easier to do."
Jones' grandchildren are 7, 15 and 17 years old and, as she puts it, "they eat a lot -- it's almost incredible, really. There've been a couple of times when we were pretty close to going hungry. Times when all we'd have for lunch would be popcorn. And for dinner, macaroni and cheese. I was scared we were all gonna be going hungry."
Hungry children are what stay on Kay Carter's mind, too. The executive director of Second Harvest Food Bank says, "There are 35,000 children living in poverty in Mecklenburg County -- 17 percent of all children -- and that was before the downturn; I'm sure it's more now. Being below the poverty level doesn't mean those children are going hungry every day, but it does put them at a great risk of hunger. And with 35,000 children, it stands to reason that a significant number of them are going hungry on any given day. That's why our primary goal is preventing child hunger -- they usually can't help the situation they're in."