I am a straight male who has never been in a romantic relationship. I am not a virgin, but every romantic relationship I've tried to pursue has ended in disaster. A few things you should know about me: While I am not a full-on clinical psychopath by a long shot, I am on that scale and do have psychopathic tendencies. I know this makes me sound like an asshole (and I probably am an asshole), but I am often the smartest person in the room. I wish this wasn't the case. Bottom line: I am extremely lonely. I have trouble relating to people, and they have trouble relating to me. I want to change how I relate to others, I want to be in a healthy relationship, and most of all I want to stop feeling so lonely, but I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't feel isolated. I don't even know where to start. Any guidance would be appreciated.
Alone And Afraid
You didn't mention seeking professional help, AAA, and maybe that's because you fear being smarter than the shrink in the room. But cognitive behavioral therapy is supposed to be an effective treatment for people with psychopathic tendencies. The goal isn't to change you or rewire your brain, as that's most likely impossible, but to change how you approach and interact with people. Also, AAA, a lot of people who are in relationships — even people who find it easy to interact with others — struggle with feelings of isolation. That's not uncommon. And there are tons of people out there who aren't psychopaths (or on the scale) who can describe their romantic histories in the same apocalyptic terms that you do.
Get help, keep things in perspective. Live your life, do shit, go places, even if you have to go alone for now.
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