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'Poll results censored'

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Rolling On The Table

Somebody online beat me to telling John Grooms that his poll in his Boomer With Attitude column ("Poll Results Censored," Aug. 23) is stupid. They didn't bother to leave a name, so I'm sure I know into which bin their opinion will go. Actually, this is the funniest thing Grooms has written in a long time. Except I somehow think it's Parks Helms that smoked pot. In fact, I think he might do so before every meeting; it explains why it takes him 15 minutes to finish each and every sentence, and why Parks hasn't yet laid Bill James out on the table and used a prized set of Ginsu knives to publicly disembowel him. You love everybody when you're stoned. I'm posting a copy of this column on my wall.

--T. Scott Testerman, Charlotte

Firing Up Laughs

Thanks for the long and healthy laughs provided by Grooms' "Poll Results Censored" column. For some reason, the poll answer "a fire in a trash can" as a preferred alternative to watching the city and county's dull-ass programs struck me as the funniest thing I've ever heard and I couldn't stop laughing. By the time I got to the end of the column, I was in tears, and my wife, who had started reading along with me, had peed in her pants. First-class satire -- keep it up.

--Steve LaRocca, Charlotte

Department of corrections

In the cover story "Big Brother Is Watching You" (by Tara Servatius, Aug. 16), we incorrectly printed that MIB Inc. was a subsidiary of ChoicePoint. We apologize for the error.

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