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Karma Cleanser

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Dear Karma Cleanser:
I married my husband in May of last year, and he wanted to be in charge of our finances ever since then. I closed my checking account and started depositing my pay into a joint account. All of our bills are automatically deducted from the account so I never have to worry about finances. What I did not tell my husband then is that I also keep a second bank account. It's an old savings account with only a few thousand dollars in it. Sometimes I'll put in an extra $20 or $30 per month just to keep it growing.

He's never directly asked me if this account existed and I've never volunteered that it's out there. We are getting ready to buy a house and I'm afraid that I will need to admit that I have the money. Is it bad karma to keep a little nest egg a secret? I'm afraid my little white lie will turn out to be a big black smudge on our loan application.

- Accountable

The Karma Cleanser knows little when it comes to the way of the Realtor — though we'd guess that your extra assets would only help your bid for home ownership. But admitting this lie of omission to your spouse spells couples counseling ahead. We can't blame you for keeping a cushion, just in case, but not telling your partner about it for more than a year makes us wonder if there aren't other doubts silently strangling your marriage.

Dear Karma Cleanser:
My horoscope in the newspaper this morning said something like: "Don't bother getting out of bed." I called up my friend Prudence, who is a psychic, and asked her to read my Tarot over the phone. She did and the answer was: "A dark force is gathering energy in a plot against you."

Horrified, I closed all the doors and windows and went back to bed. Now Prudence is not answering her phone and I'm not sure where to turn for help. When is it safe for me to return to the land of the living?

- Broken 8-Ball

Whoa there Chicken Little — get ahold of yourself. You're relying far too much on the advice of strangers to make it through your day. Don't let a crappy newsprint astrology column or some dial-a-destiny nonsense from Sister Knowitall stop you from living. In honor of Independence Day, you must learn to celebrate your own.

Been bad? karmacleanser@gmail.com.

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