Bad Habits » Karma Cleanser

Karma Cleanser

Dear Karma Cleanser:
I keep having dreams that I'm back with my group of high school friends. Everyone looks and acts the same, even though it's now 15 years later. They're all upset that I haven't kept in touch with them. I wake up feeling like I've lost something that I can't quite articulate. I know this isn't exactly bad or good karma, but I'd like to know how I can find out what these dreams mean. -- Sleepy Senior

How sad it would be if you were 15 years older and still acted the same as you did in high school. Still, sounds like your subconscious is trying to remind you that there's something about your teenage self that's ripe for rediscovery. Next time you have the dream, try to focus on what's different about you, and what those old friends say about the person you've become.

Dear Karma Cleanser:
I feel like such an idiot. I just found out that a guy I rejected a long time ago is now dating a former good friend of mine. I know that it should not bother me, given that I was the one who told this guy no when he asked me out, but it just gets under my skin.

I almost feel like he is dating this girl to get back at me. We had a pretty ugly end to our friendship. She hit on my then-boyfriend, which led to the end of that relationship as well. We stopped talking, but we have common friends, so I always know what's going on in her life. The guy she's now dating is still very good friends with my ex-boyfriend, so I hear about his business as well.

I'd like to think that I am pretty blameless in this whole matter. I'm courteous to both of these people when I see them, but I know that they both dislike me. Is there something I can do to move on and get my relationship karma back to a good place?-- History Repeats

Here's a crazy thought: Maybe this isn't about you at all. Maybe it's about two people finding a connection, which is a rare and beautiful thing when it actually happens. Maybe these two people from your past learned something from knowing you, and that knowledge has led them to a chance at present happiness. Let it go. When your common friends start to volunteer information about these people's lives, tell them politely that you don't want to hear about it. Your relationship karma will be fine, so long as you don't force yourself into the situation.

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