At the beginning of the summer, I met this guy "Sean" and immediately developed a crush on him. He was dating someone at the time, so I knew that my crush couldn't develop into anything. Being friendly, I invited Sean to come to my beach house some weekend. He never said yes, or no.
Now it's almost the end of the summer and -- surprise -- Sean is now single. We've been flirting again and have made general plans to go on a date. But he has also remembered my invitation from earlier in the summer and says he wants to come with me to the beach house over Labor Day. I'm in a real bind. I don't want to be rude and tell him he can't come (especially after I was the one who invited him). But I don't want to spend a whole weekend with him and my friends before we've gone on our first date. I hardly know the guy!
I worry that I'm going to score some bad karma no matter how I handle this situation. Help! -- Sand Trap
Your boy Sean's obviously not too bright. He should know better than to mistake a weekend at the beach for a first date. Since you're obviously dealing with someone with no fear of awkward situations, it should be painless when you tell him that the beach trip might be better if you'd actually spent some time together first.
Dear Karma Cleanser:
After 20 some odd years, I've given up on my quest for enlightenment. I've packed away the Deepak Chopra books, stopped believing in fortune cookies and sold all my crystals at a garage sale. I no longer worry about "nurturing my soul" or finding some impossible middle path. I've stopped meditating and have thrown out all the aromatherapy candles. Don't look for me at yoga class, at prayer circle or in the sweat lodge. It's over. And I'm a lot happier, all things considered.
I'm just writing to let your readers know that seeing isn't believing. Don't dream it. Be it. -- Nirvana at Last
Your letter reminds us of the Buddhist story about the students who mistake the finger pointing toward the moon for the moon itself. Your Deepak collection, vanilla candles and yoga classes may have been a means, but they never should have been an end. But before you give up on so-called "enlightenment," may we suggest you check out Oriah Mountain Dreamer's new book, The Call? It speaks to your current place of rewriting your own story. Now that you finally see a greater truth in your life, maybe you can finally start believing.
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