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Karma Cleanser

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Dear Karma Cleanser:
I'm a 19-year-old female who has never had a kiss or a boyfriend. I've only been sincerely asked out by two people: a drug pusher and a 24-year-old pervert. People say that I'm a late bloomer and my time will come, but I think I'm in this situation because I'm always annoyed, cold and not talkative. I've had to put up with more B.S. than anyone should have to before they get to be my age. I also think that this is the way I truly am. It's stupid to try and act like something I'm not just to get guys, but I'm awfully lonely and I'm very depressed about my situation. Is it really my fault?-- So Bloom Already!

Sounds to us like you've got a choice to make. Either drop the Ice Queen act or get comfy being alone. While it's true that some guys do dig being treated like dirt, you usually don't discover that until after you've started dating, which requires attracting them in the first place. Until you can learn to let things go, warm up to strangers and be a little pleasant, the parade of perverts and drug pushers will most likely continue.

Dear Karma Cleanser:
So I recently broke up with my new boyfriend of two months after a string of bullshit (him not calling or showing up to dinner when he said he would). The straw that shattered this camel's patience is he didn't call for two weeks after I'd left frantic messages, urging him to call me so I could tell him I was late. And not for the dentist.

After I finally called him to break up with him, I let him think that I was still in the family way even though my period had arrived during week two. After a bit of nasty sarcasm on his part, I dropped the phone without clarifying his assumption.

My karma question is this: A week later, I came down with a nasty cold that I'm still battling, red nose, phlegm and all. Is this my karmic comeuppance or is my immune system a pansy? And if it is karma, what can I do short of calling him?-- Queen of Kleenex

Your cold probably came about because of the stress from this not-so-fun situation, not due to your stab at making Mr. Loser Guy sweat. But we have to wonder: Two months in and you were already worried about a bun in the oven? Let this incident be the straw that breaks that camel's, um, habit of giving it up without using protection -- especially with jerks who don't call you back.

Been bad? karma@creativeloafing.com.

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