I am deadly allergic to shellfish, which actually makes me feel selfish. I'm like the fun food police. No one can get crab legs or order seafood dip to share if I'm at the table.
We learned this the hard way. My senior year beach trip included a night in the hospital after I had to leave a Crab Shack in an ambulance. The year before, it was ruined because my dumbass decided to pierce my tongue illegally (I was underage), and when my mom noticed my slurred swollen speech on the phone, she showed up at my hotel room eight hours later. Notice how piercing and tattoo shops are highly regulated on the strip in Myrtle Beach now? My mom doesn't play!
Anyway, the Cason-point is -- shellfish is my kryptonite.
Well, I was out at this networking function at a restaurant with a catered soiree -- the kind where you eat a fancy dinner of hors d'oeuvres off a cocktail napkin. I am always scared of anything that comes out of a chafing dish because it could be some form of unidentified shellfish poison. I asked the buffet attendant what the dip was. In broken English she told me, "Spinach."
So, I just went for it. I scooped some up and basically inhaled it. "This is the best spinach dip I've ever had!" was the infamous quote of the evening.
All of a sudden my lips started to tingle ...
So I asked the restaurant manager if there happened to be any crab in the dip. Oh there was, and I had just eaten about two pounds of it. Meanwhile, my eyes were itching, my face was swelling, my breath was slowing, and I started to turn as red as a crab. I was dead sexy ... and way beyond Benadryl.
Have I yet mentioned that I was on a date?
Lucky guy, on his third encounter with me he had to administer an emergency epi-pen shot in the middle of a restaurant ... in my ass. As a disclaimer, I wish to leave this venue anonymous as I like the place and I don't want its name to be associated with my near death experience.
Speaking of restaurant names, you might have noticed that City Tavern on East Boulevard is now Plan B, a venue operating under the same restaurant slash bar genre.
A bar-u-rant called Plan B? As in the second option, or as in the morning-after pill? What is it located next to the RU-486 wine store? Do they serve Ortho Tri-Cyclen cocktails and condom cakes?
Read out about the uber-exclusive EA Sports party with P.O.D. at Whisky River and the redneck scavenger hunt I went on at Speed Street, on www.qcvibes.com.