School superintendent Eric Smith presented a lean budget which drew the habitual Republican gripes about lavish spending, as well as others' ire over the elimination of foreign languages and band/orchestra from elementary schools, as well as a cut in the number of teacher assistants. At the same time, Smith wants voters to approve bonds that will spend millions to upgrade athletic facilities; wants to keep the system's useless TV channel; and proposes allocating $2 million ($2 million!) for the schools' public information department. What's wrong with this picture?

Texan Killer Mom: Andrea Yates was found guilty of murdering her five children, despite the fact that she is a deeply psychotic religious fanatic and probably couldn't tell the difference between her kids and Satan's knuckles at the time of the killings. President Dubya expressed frustration that he can't be governor of Texas again and "send her to Jesus."

Movie madness: Some local police officers protested the screening of a film at the Mint Museum about the life of (according to your POV) brutal cop killer or oppressed martyr Abu Jamal Mumia. This week, convicted murderers plan to protest the showing of any films showing law enforcement in a good light.

Money wasted on a commercial art degree: Wachovia unveiled a new logo incorporating First Union green and Wachovia blue in a bland, lifeless design. And this was treated as actual news -- important news -- by the mainstream media.

Fun By The Pool: The NCAA men's basketball tournament began, disrupting work schedules, emptying pockets, and draining the city's supply of copier toner. Area teams lost in the first round, although Davidson gave Ohio State a real scare. Winthrop took an early lead and gave Duke a serious run for their money for about, ohh, 45 seconds before being squashed like a bug on a windshield.

Graham cracker crumbles: Rev. Billy Graham apologized a second time for his derogatory comments about Jews during a 1972 meeting with Pres. Nixon. Consequently, Mayor Fratboy announced that Jews driving on Billy Graham Parkway no longer have to display a yellow Star of David on their vehicle.

Observer headline of the week: Answering call, officer hits and kills pedestrian.

This guy must be receiving his calls from the same place Andrea Yates is getting hers. But what do you wanna bet he doesn't get life in prison?