When ABC came to Charlotte to cast for its new show, Holidate, about two women swapping cities to escape hopeless situations within their own dating domain, my girlfriends actually submitted my information, stating they were "filling in a national classified ad for me."
The girls of Charlotte should thank me really, as I have been keeping the fundamentally-undateable, emotionally-unavailable men off the market ... and in turn putting myself on the damaged goods shelf.
So, when casting called and invited me on the show, I answered, forcing myself to cure my post-traumatic-relationship syndrome and start dating again ... on national television. I stepped not only outside of my box, but outside of my city when they sent me to Chicago to serial date and pick a bachelor to give, not a rose, but a plane ticket to Charlotte.
The most entertaining of the three dates was my last one with ... wait, I honestly can't even remember his name (apparently the date was more memorable than he was). After going to the top of the Sears, or ("What you talking 'bout?") Willis Tower rather, he turned to me in the limo on the way to dinner and said, "I have freakishly large toes."
I got it ... he was telling me that to insinuate that other parts of his body are freakishly large as well. Well, I didn't let him get away with saying something like that and not proving it ... about his toes, that is. His toes were longer than my fingers and slightly resembled Freddy Kruger's hands. He then proceeded to pick up a champagne glass and toast me ... with said freakishly large toes.
Although I was portrayed as my silly self and not some Flava of Love skank, reality television isn't really all that realistic. But sometimes we all need to escape our own reality.
For starters, it's hard to date when there's a mic in your bra, a camera in your face, and a 10-deep production crew accompanying you and suggesting conversation. I picked bachelor No. 1 -- but don't expect to see him in Charlotte anytime soon. Let's just say there was no real spark with the guy who referred to me as a "spark plug." But I did end up finding love through the show: I fell in love with the city ... and ironically, I did meet a guy while I was in Chicago ... he just had absolutely nothing to do with the show.