I have been with my fiancé for four years. We are happy together and very much in love. When I met him, he was a bit boring, and I brought him out of his shell. But now I'm starting to feel like I've created a monster. He has discovered that he is REALLY into some things. For example: trans porn, wearing my lingerie, being on the "receiving end" of my strap-on, etc. All of these things are fine — once in a while. But it makes me feel like less of a woman when all he wants to do is BE THE WOMAN EVERY SINGLE TIME! We have talked about it, and he has cut back, but I can't help but wonder ... is he less satisfied in bed now? I have noticed a drop in how often we have sex after we had the "talk." I'm getting bored and worried!
Created A Monster
You two may be experiencing — and you may be misinterpreting — a normal four-years-in decrease in the frequency of sex, CAM, or this could be one of those lulls that even couples in LTRs that don't see a drop in frequency sometimes experience. That the amount of sex you and your fiancé are having fell off steeply in the immediate wake of the "talk" may just be a coincidence.
Only time will tell, CAM, so ... you'll have to give it time.
But you were right to communicate with your fiancé about your unhappiness. You get a gold star for drawing him out of his shell, sexually speaking, and he may have gotten so excited about you being up for watching trans porn, putting him in your lingerie, and pegging his ass that he lost sight of your needs, wants, and desires. It's possible that he's less interested in sex now that it's not all about transgender porn and gender transgression, CAM, but it's also possible that he's embarrassed for being such a thoughtless panty-wearing clod and is having a hard time getting things back in gear. You may need to draw him out yet again.
I'm an 18-year-old male. After three years of silence, my ex-girlfriend texted me out of the blue. She was my first love, and part of my heart still aches for her. I feel like the smart thing to do is to stop talking to her right now, but my heart says if I keep at it, I might be able to win her back. Most of her messages sound flirtatious, but it could just be me being optimistic. She even said, "I don't think of you as more than a friend. But I would be open to a relationship if I started having feelings for you again." Is this a lost cause? Or do I need to give it more time and see how it develops?
Love And Memories Enflamed
Forgive me, LAME, for what I'm about to type.
You're being used. Your ex-girlfriend sent that out-of-the-blue text because she wanted to feel wanted. Maybe she got dumped recently, or maybe she's in the midst of a dry spell, or maybe she's just selfish and cruel. But all she's after here — most likely — are the ego boosts your texts provide. And to keep those boosts coming, LAME, she's dangling a little false hope in front of you: She told you the truth so she wouldn't have to admit to herself that she's a manipulative liar (she only thinks of you as a friend) and then tacked on some meaningless, impossible-to-disprove crap (a relationship might be possible if she starts to have feelings for you again) to keep you textin'.
You dated her three years ago ... when you were 15. You're not in love with her, LAME, you're in love with the way she made you feel. There are other girls out there who can make you feel that way. Go find one.