Music » Brittney After Dark

I fought the stairs, the stairs won


I am writing this from the waiting room of an Urgent Care center ... I am a limping gimp in need of a Tetanus shot right now.

Because following the Loaf's "Best Of" party at the Levine Museum and the after-party at Madisons, I went to a party for the new drag strip at Whisky River. And on the way up to the EpiCentre, I got into a fight with the escalator ... and the escalator won.

My thin, tall heel got stuck in the grate and, when I yanked it out, I fell forward, deeply puncturing my knee in three places.

Instantly there was a waterfall of blood spewing from my knee. Acclaimed WR bartender Marky Mark had to perform first aid on me in lieu of me fainting. I tried to hide my injury, but the blood profusely protruding from my knee made it rather difficult, and whatever Mark used to clean it stung so bad, it extracted a few tears.

And then it hit me ... I was "that girl." Unintentionally, but still ...

Ladies, have you ever woken up after a night out and found yourself with running mascara, unanswered drunk dials, a broken heel and no sense of otherwise dignity? ... or, in my case, the inability to walk. Well, all are symptoms of being "that girl," and alcohol tends to bring the "that" out of the girl.

There are even several categories of "that girl" ...

Agenda Girl: Agenda being to get married. Note: Striving to be a trophy wife or a stay-at-home girlfriend is not a legitimate goal.

Drama Queen: Yes, we hear you. You are awesome. In fact, you radiate so much awesomeness that you're not only the center of attention, but the center of the universe and we're all just revolving around you. Now, will you shut up and sit down?

Desperate Girl: The girl that thinks attention from men is as vital to her survival as food and water.

Insecure Girl: You are your own worst critic, you know? Well, silence that inner dialogue because your happiness and security is no one's responsibility but your own. And while alcohol may sedate you, it doesn't instill securities.

Lost Girl: You need a GPS system for your life (not alcohol). Finding yourself is a life-long journey, but it's good to know what path you're on at least.

At one time or another, every girl has been guilty of being "that girl," (admit it ladies). But the Cason Point is: let's strive to be "the woman" as opposed to "that girl."

That, and be careful when riding an escalator with heels and impaired motor skills.

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