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Now when you flip through a race program looking for your own personal NASCAR crush, don't expect to see some male models. These guys vary in actual straight-up good looks from the J. Crew-catalogue-handsome Steve Park to the quirkily adorable Kurt Busch. It's mostly about the total package. So much is in the attitude and the juxtaposition of machismo and tactical acuity.
You can assume a few things about a race car driver: he's fearless, he's tough, he's ambitious, and he's smart. In my still new crush on this sport, I've read tons of books, magazines, internet articles, and I can vouch for the fact that it's incredibly complex. (OK, just for you skeptics who think this assertion may be coming from a slack-jawed yokel: my IQ is over 160 and I have a degree in Classics. Man, since I got into NASCAR I'm always having to defend myself.)
It's so seductive to see these men -- sweaty, rough, fearless -- talking physics and engineering. I just swoon when they start talking about aerodynamic drag, negative camber and fuel consumption equation variables, etc. The dichotomy is such a turn-on. They also have a wicked not-so-secret weapon -- those Inexplicably Sexy Race Suits. Rawr!
Besides, there's another variable in car racing that hits you as soon as they start the engines: it's a very sexy spectator experience. Don't judge me till you've felt your entire body vibrate from the noise and speed of 43 cars going almost 200 mph roaring right past you. It's very visceral, and the speed truly is intoxicating. You get a vicarious thrill from knowing that the drivers are constantly pushing the envelope. Any slight mishap could send them flying through the air. But just sitting there is delicious -- the furious purr of the cars, the whoosh of air as they whip past you, the heat and hot smells, the constant vibration of the air and ground and seats beneath you. Not to get too graphic, but it's tailormade to make ladies think happy, happy thoughts.
Why does everything always come down to sex? Why can't we just admire a person's talent and be a fan without taking it there? We can - unless they're of the right sex for our taste and happen to be attractive. It's human nature.
But where did all the hotties come from?
On any given Sunday, the 43 drivers waiting for the green flag are polarized into the 40somethings and the 20somethings. There just doesn't seem to be many in their 30s, so the younger guys stand out even more. To be fair, there are some quite attractive drivers over 29 such as Michael Waltrip and Mark Martin. Yep, he's not a bad rep for Viagra after all.
I don't know for sure, but I think it's a safe bet that Jeff Gordon started it all. He has definitely shaken things up in the world of NASCAR since bursting onto the scene in. . .He's a clean-cut, All-American guy who happens to be one hell of a race car driver. In fact, he was too good, too quick for a lot of Old Guard fans. Plus, he committed the unforgivable sin -- he's not Southern. He's an outsider who defected from Formula One and has proceeded to kick some serious Winston Cup ass, winning the championship four times already. And he's only 30.
Perhaps most importantly, he became NASCAR's unofficial ambassador to the mid-American middle class. He reached out, and suburbia took his gloved hand. It didn't take long for sponsors to notice a new demo, ripe for the picking.
It's reasonable to assume that Jeff's success in attracting new audiences, both on the track and off, has opened the door for the new breed now taking the sport by storm. Teams and owners are more willing to take a chance on a young hotshot and sponsors are drooling for the chance to make sex-symbol revenue off their drivers.
But things are never easy for trailblazers. While earning millions of dollars and becoming really famous, Jeff has endured a lot. There's the whole Fans Against Gordon thing. I personally think that any guy who has worn a t-shirt with that on it, or says that Jeff is gay, is a closet homosexual desperately in love with him and can't get him out of his head. Any chick doing such reprehensible stuff is just resentful because her fellow is a closet homosexual desperately in love with Jeff and can't get him out of his head.
Another factor in the sexing of NASCAR was timing. The crown prince of the sport came of age -- Dale Earnhardt Jr. And he brought thousands of women with him. Junior has done for NASCAR what Quentin Tarantino did for John Travolta -- he made it sexy and hip.
