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Holy Convergence, Batman!

Catwoman, Kerry and Robin


Every so often convergence happens and things begin to make sense, even if only in some bizarre blur that lasts for a fleeting moment before the universe returns to its normal state of entropy. By my reckoning, we're currently in a state of this sort of Brave New Convergence. Let me explain.

Last week's column briefly looked at some of the possible electoral shenanigans going on around us, from Florida to DC to a town near you. This week, we find ourselves looking at Boston where the Democratic National Convention is taking place. Last Friday we saw the release of the movie Catwoman. See what I mean? If not, stick with me for a moment.

Catwoman is an extension of sorts of the Batman franchise, though the feline whom Halle Berry portrays is a far cry from the one Michelle Pfeiffer played in Batman Returns and an even further stretch from Julie Newmar's purr-fectly campy TV vixen. Honestly, I'd cough up a hairball from any one of them.

Jump now to Boston where the Democrats are in the middle of nominating John Kerry as their presidential candidate. Kerry is a wealthy, tall, complex, somewhat dark and brooding man that the Democratic Party (and half the country, give or take) is looking to as a potential dark knight to rescue us from an increasingly messy situation. To do this, Kerry has elicited the help of a vice presidential nominee, a youthful ward if you will, who goes not by the name of Dick Grayson but John Edwards. Is this starting to make sense now?

Let me put it another way. Have you ever seen Dick Cheney and The Penguin in the same room together? Hmmm, how about Donald Rumsfeld and The Joker? Tom Ridge and The Riddler? Colin Powell and Two Face? John Ashcroft and Mr. Freeze? I didn't think so.

Our Brave New World has apparently shifted from being an Aldous Huxley novel to being a plot in a Batman movie. Holier Than Thou Neoconservative Agendas, Batman! Is George Bush really Jervis Tech (aka The Mad Hatter)? Tune in Same Brave New Bat Time, Same Brave New Bat Channel to find out.

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