A great many of the 300,000 or so people who read this paper every week are under the impression that we, Creative Loafing's editorial staff, are some incredibly jaded folks.

Maybe it's because, in our quest to find the best films, theater, music, food and events for you each week, we tend to verbally maul some of Charlotte's most beloved people, places and things.

Well, if you are a reader who thinks we're jaded, reading through this year's Holiday Guide sure as hell won't change your mind.

You see, for the year 2007, we decided to forego the clichéd stories of trimming trees, building snowmen (or snowpersons) and singing carols to -- instead -- tell you about our own warped holiday traditions.

Yes, I'm sad to say that some of our morbid staffers have penned a few holiday-themed essays sure to mentally scar you just in time for Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah or what have you.

Fortunately, this year's Holiday Guide is not all doom and gloom.

Aside from our collection of warped musings, we've pulled together a butt-load of holiday-oriented events that you will actually want to attend. Pick a date on our all-holiday See & Do calendar, and you're bound to find stimulating things to do for the next four weeks.

And for even more Holiday Guide goodies, check out:

• A political "wishlist" in Boomer With Attitude

• Food-centric gifts in Food & Drink

• Holiday music suggestions in Vibes

So happy reading and, from the bottom our black hearts, happy holidays.

– Carlton Hargro

See also