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Hard Times Holiday Guide

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9 Fight for Jesus: Need a free but feisty way to spend the time? You can find discussions held at coffeehouses on all sorts of topics, but to really watch some heated debates go nuclear; create your own discussion group that will tackle the question, "Is Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ the best Jesus movie ever made or the most blasphemous Jesus movie ever made?" Personally, I think it's the best religious movie ever made -- it presents Christ as an approachable flesh-and-blood deity rather than an untouchable icon, thereby allowing us to truly appreciate how he died for our sins. But hey, there are devotees of that garish snuff film The Passion of the Christ who would vehemently disagree, and what better time to bring the two factions together than during the Yuletide season?

10 Trade your CDs: You never cared enough to open that Wayne Newton CD your mom bought you as a gift last Christmas. And clueless grandpa certainly wasted his money last year getting you that Police Academy box set. Have no fear: Take these and other unwanted CDs and DVDs to Manifest, establish trade-in credit, and then use that store credit to obtain gifts that you can give to other people. It doesn't cost you a dime, and it also helps clear your pad of some of the clutter.

11 Re-gift: So you're rummaging through a box in the attic, and you come across old audiocassettes of, say, Blondie's Parallel Lines or the Grease soundtrack. Don't chuck 'em! Instead, target your most gullible friends and pass the tapes along as Xmas gifts, insisting that they've become valuable collector's items over the decades and that it was hard for you to part with such treasures. They'll be so touched, they might even shed a tear or two.

12 Rent non-holiday movies: Having spent all your cash on presents, you suddenly find yourself without any resources come the weekend. Not to worry. Rather than hitting any expensive nightclubs during this holiday period, invite some friends over to your house, serve popcorn and spiked punch, and watch movies that have NOTHING to do with Christmas and EVERYTHING to do with partying (e.g. National Lampoon's Animal House, Swingers, Dazed and Confused, Boogie Nights).

13 Play a holiday drinking game: Better yet, invite friends over and make a drinking game out of it: Watch Yuletide movies like It's a Wonderful Life and A Charlie Brown Christmas, and any time a character says a word like "Christmas," "angel" or "tree," everyone has to take a shot. Last person who hasn't passed out wins the game. Bonus tip: To make the game go even faster, watch Bad Santa, and every time Billy Bob Thornton or any of the other actors spit out a profanity, everyone has to take a shot. (Note: If the Bad Santa option is chosen, the staff of Creative Loafing will not be responsible for any liver damage that might result.)

14 All Arts Market (Dec. 10): An All Arts Market will be held at Neighborhood Theatre, featuring approximately 90 Queen City artists selling their wares. Among the artists are William Puckett, Jerry Lee Kirk, David French, Cher Cosper and CL music editor Jeff Hahne. In addition, there will be live music. Free. For more information, go to nodarioty.com.

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Cheap-ass live music

15 The Noises 10 (Dec. 13): The Noises 10 always packs the Visulite Theatre with scores of fans. While a major label was on the horizon at one point, the guys have soldiered on through the fallen deal and released their latest CD, The Hammer The Anvil The Stirrup, in September. $10

16 A Night of Jazz and Hip-Hop (Dec. 13): A Night of Jazz and Hip-Hop will take over Tremont Music Hall with the sounds of Still Life Static, Fuzz and Mac, and Audioform. Charlotte's Still Life Static combines elements of rock, funk and hip-hop. Wilmington's Fuzz and Mac brings hip-hop in combination with elements of female-voiced soul. Charlotte's Audioform will bring the funky jazz. $8

17 Santa Baby & Misses Claus (Dec. 20): The Santa Baby & Misses Claus event at The Evening Muse is set to be a showcase of female vocal talent from the Queen City -- Combine the trio of Volatile Baby on the same bill as the quartet known as The Near Misses. It's the early, 8 p.m., show that night. $8

18 Double Door 35th Anniversary Party (Dec. 22): It's time to celebrate one of the Queen City's legendary venues -- The Double Door Inn is holding its 35th Anniversary Party. Sure, Clapton and Stevie Ray Vaughn won't be there, but you should be. The Monday Night AllStars, who have been performing at the club since almost the beginning, will be rocking the night away. $10