Columns » Boomer with Attitude

Got To Get You Into My Life

Or, He Came In Through the E-mail Sorter

comment

Rushing around in his black Acura, Pat McCrory cranks up Sgt. Pepper. -- Jim Morrill, Charlotte Observer, Oct. 14

"Play drums with Paul McCartney" -- item on Mayor Pat McCrory's "Things to do before I die" list in Creative Loafing, Aug. 10

From: Mayor Pat McCrory, Charlotte, NC, USA

To: Paul McCartney

Hi, Paul, Charlotte mayor Pat McCrory here. I wrote you a snail mail letter but I guess you didn't get it. I'm sure you've heard this a lot, but I am, for real, your biggest fan -- and not just the Beatles stuff either, I even liked "Silly Love Songs." I'll cut to the chase. Since I'm such a big fan and a mayor and all, I hope you'll let me play drums on your next album. Well, I know you're busy just like me -- the cell phone never stops ringing, does it?

Your fan and new drummer, Pat McCrory

From: Paul McCartney Enterprises

To: Pat McCrary

Mr. McCrary: Thank you for your supportive letter. Sir Paul wants you to know your good wishes are appreciated. He would love to be able to answer all communications he receives here at PME, but as John Lennon once said, "I just haven't enough pens."

Cordially, J. Asher Scruff, publicist

From: Mayor Pat McCrory, Charlotte, NC, USA

To: Sir Paul McCartney

Thanks for the reply, but I don't think I explained well enough who I am. First, it's Pat McCrory, not McCrary -- I don't even know who Pat McCrary is. Anyhow, I'm the mayor of Charlotte, North Carolina, in America. I'm now in my fifth term and will soon be elected to a sixth. I've been a fan of Paul McCartney since I was a boy in Greensboro and I would love to be able to play drums on an album by Sir Paul -- even if it's just one song! Needless to say, whenever Sir Paul comes to Charlotte, I would be honored to be able to give him one of our exciting keys to the city. Now that I've explained myself a little better, please be sure Sir Paul gets this letter. Thanks a lot.

Still a big fan, Pat McCrory

From: Paul McCartney Enterprises

To: Mayor Pat McCrory

Thank you once again for your kind expression of support and for your interest in playing drums with Sir Paul. Please understand that we cannot forward every such request to him because of his intensely busy schedule. Sir Paul would be delighted to accept a key to the city of Charleston, but he is unfortunately not scheduled to be there during his current American tour. He does send his good wishes, however, and says you must be quite the mayor to have been elected five times. Also, accept our apologies for misspelling your name in our last communication.

Cordially, J. Asher Scruff, publicist

From: Mayor Pat McCrory

To: Sir Paul McCartney

Thanks for the congrats on being elected over and over. The people of Charlotte know that I support the environment, just like Sir Paul. In fact, he might be interested to know I'm on the US Conference of Mayors' Environmental Committee. Also note that it's Charlotte, not Charleston, but don't worry, people make that mistake all the time. Please tell Paul (oops, Sir Paul) about my environment thing and I'll wait to hear back.

Keeping my drumsticks warm, Pat McCrory

From: Paul McCartney Enterprises

To: Mayor Pat McCrory

Sorry for the delay in replying to your last e-mail but your stated support for the environment piqued our interest -- Sir Paul is indeed a strong supporter of the environmental movement -- and we have been reviewing your record as mayor. Our review, unfortunately, reveals that although you are on the national environmental committee you mentioned, you did not support most of its proposals and in fact have said you aren't even sure global warming is real (this is an opinion we had heard existed in America but until now we thought it was just a nasty rumor). Indeed, we could not find any record of your support for the environment other than a curious mention of sidewalks in your city as an example of your "environmental" platform. You must also know of Sir Paul's strong support of pro-peace and anti-landmine efforts and of campaigns to end poverty. We see that you, on the other hand, support the war in Iraq and actually vetoed a modest effort by your City Council to pay city employees a living wage.

Again, Sir Paul certainly appreciates your regard for his music, but as one of his most trusted assistants, I can assure you that you needn't lose any sleep waiting for an invitation to join his band.

Cordially, J. Asher Scruff, publicist

From: Mayor Pat McCrory

To: City Staff

Please note that in the event of singer Paul McCartney coming to Charlotte for whatever reason, it will not be necessary to prepare a "key to the city" for His Liberalness.

Thanks, Pat

Add a comment