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'Friends With Benefits' A-OK?



My girlfriend of two years, my first real relationship, broke up with me a month ago. Although I felt like shit for most of that month, we somehow managed to struggle through to a close friendship. I wouldn't say I'm entirely over her, but I understand why it happened and that we won't be getting back together. All in all, I've felt like we've both been pretty mature and things are going well.

The complication: We still find each other attractive and we work very well together sexually. So she proposed an FWB arrangement, and I said yes. We laid down ground rules — we are not together, we are just friends who fuck, so no "I love you," no commitments, no expectations — and we started having hot sex. Is this foolhardy? We both know that I'd prefer something more. So the question remains: Should we keep fucking?

Can't Recall Acronym Procedure

How are you going to feel when your ex-girlfriend/current-fuck-buddy finds a new boyfriend and ends your FWB arrangement? If you can honestly answer, "I'll be happy for her," then keep fucking — but don't forget to ask for your balls back when she dumps you that second time.

If you can't say that and you decide to keep fucking the ex anyway, CRAP, you wouldn't be the first lovesick dumpee who agreed to enter into an FWB arrangement with an ex. If the short-term rewards (all that hot sex) and the potential long-term payoff (getting back together) make the risk seem worthwhile, then keep fucking.

My 20-year-old brother is gay. My family has known for a few years. He came out to my mom — she found his Facebook profile; he hasn't come out to anyone else in the family, but we all found out anyway. (I already knew because I would be treated to some interesting porn whenever I opened the browser on the family computer after he used it.) I've voiced my acceptance of homosexuality while he is around, but he hasn't come out. Should I pull him aside and tell him that the family is OK with him?

His Straight Big Brother

If you wanted to pull your brother aside to tell him the same shit every homo on earth has heard 10 million times by age 20 — "I love you, bro, but Jesus said that every time two dudes get it on, an angel gets an anal fissure" — I would advise you to keep your mouth shut. But since you're supportive, and mom already knows, and it's on his freakin' Facebook page, pull the little coward aside. Tell him everybody knows, everybody loves him, but everybody is sick of having to pretend that they don't know what they damn well do.

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