"Me and some buddies are going over to this Northern guy I work with's house and he and his friends are going to beat the shit out of us."
Consignment Store Owner
"I'm doing my part all week by living on beans and salt pork, wearing ragged clothes, and dating a guy who had his leg shot off."
"I spit in your food. Could you tell?"
"As you can see, I'm walking around barefoot so I can get ringworm, just like my great grandpa did in the good ole days."