ASK THE DUST Movies don't get much more languid than Ask the Dust, yet for all its lackadaisical moseying when a trot here and there might have helped, the picture isn't easy to shake. Written and directed by Robert Towne, this LA-set adaptation of John Fante's novel casts Colin Farrell and Salma Hayek as, respectively, an Italian writer and a Mexican waitress who struggle to overcome their own biases to in order to form a meaningful bond. The love-hate relationship between the pair may strike many viewers as contrived, but their inexplicable mood swings will feel recognizable to anybody who's ever experienced (or observed) the maddening way that two compatible people will unaccountably behave when thrust into each other's presence. More difficult to swallow are the heavy-handed narrative developments that dominate the film's second half. **1/2
CACHÉ (HIDDEN) To borrow the words of Winston Churchill, Caché is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma -- and it's equally powerful whether one is watching it in the moment or reflecting on its mysteries three months later. Daniel Auteuil and Juliette Binoche play Georges and Anne Laurent, a well-to-do French couple being anonymously sent videocassettes that show nothing but seemingly benign images. But the deeper implication is that someone is watching -- and recording -- their everyday activities, and this realization throws their lives into disarray and sends Georges on a mission to uncover long-buried secrets from his past. Writer-director Michael Haneke has crafted a dark, dense film packed with meaty material: an indictment of the French treatment of Algerians; a thorny examination of family dysfunction; and, in the same manner as Hitchcock's Rear Window, a direct implication of movie audiences as the ultimate voyeurs. It's imperative that viewers pay close attention to the final shot, which may -- or may not -- clear up the mystery. ***1/2
CSA: CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA Ingeniously presented as a Ken Burns-style TV documentary produced by the BBC, CSA offers a what-if? scenario by imagining the parallel course of history had the South won the Civil War. Talking heads, historical reenactments and clips from faux-movies like D.W. Griffith's The Hunt for Dishonest Abe help paint a picture of an America that not only still allows slavery but also supported Hitler's desire for Aryan supremacy during World War II, went on to conquer Latin America, and initiated a Cold War with Canada (home for abolitionists, suffragettes and rock & rollers). Writer-director Kevin Willmott methodically lays out the requisite groundwork so that none of the developments in the movie seem unbelievable or out of place -- it makes for a razor-sharp satire that only flags at the end. Yet for all its wit, the overwhelming feeling is one of sadness, as the CS history and our actual US history really aren't that far removed. ***1/2
DAVE CHAPPELLE'S BLOCK PARTY It's a behind-the-scenes documentary, a concert and a stand-up act all rolled into one. Comedian Dave Chappelle heads to his Dayton, OH, hometown to hand out golden tickets (similar to those given out by "wee Willy Wonka," as he calls him) to attend his block party in Brooklyn. Chappelle invites everyone from young black dudes to elderly white women to attend his shindig, which turns out to be a celebration of hip-hop: Among those taking part in the musical mirth are Kanye West, Mos Def, Erykah Badu and the reunited Fugees. Dave Chappelle's Block Party, not so much directed as observed by Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), is unique in the manner in which it salutes Afro-American culture and unity while at the same time exhibiting an exalted openness that makes it clear everyone's invited to take part in the merriment. The comic material is spotty, but the sizzling concert performances are the primary attraction anyway. ***
EIGHT BELOW Based on a Japanese film that was itself inspired by a true story, Eight Below relates the tale of a scientific expedition in Antarctica and what happens when punishing weather forces its members to leave behind their eight sled dogs to cope with exhaustion, starvation and a particularly nasty leopard seal. The dogs are gorgeous and wonderfully expressive (no creepy Snow Dogs-style anthropomorphizing here, thank God), and as long as director Frank Marshall and debuting scripter Dave DiGilio focus on this part of the story, the movie succeeds in the grand tradition of past Disney live-action adventures. But the picture runs an unpardonable two hours (can little kids' bladders hold out that long?), and its length is felt in the countless scenes centering on the human characters back in civilization. At 95 minutes, this would have been an out-and-out winner; maybe the DVD will include a function that will allow viewers to edit out the humans and leave only the remarkable canines. **1/2
FAILURE TO LAUNCH In this sputtering romantic comedy, Matthew McConaughey plays Tripp, a 35-year-old who still lives at home with his parents (Terry Bradshaw and Kathy Bates). Anxious to get their grown boy out of the house, the folks hire Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker), a professional consultant who -- get this -- makes a career out of building up the self-esteem of adult males still living at home by romancing them and then dumping them once they feel independent enough to move out on their own. McConaughey and Parker try, but they can't save a premise as insipid as this one. Instead, the fun can be found in the margins: Bradley Cooper and Justin Bartha have their moments as Tripp's friends, Zooey Deschanel adds some much-needed edge as Paula's droll roommate, and Bates and Bradshaw invest their characters' relationship with the humor and empathy that's sorely missing from the top-billed stars' dalliances. **
THE PINK PANTHER Despite his own comic credentials, Steve Martin is playing a dead man's hand here. Peter Sellers' particular brand of comic genius was evident in his recurring portrayal of bumbling Inspector Clouseau, and try as he might, Martin is never able to make the role his own. Were the movie surrounding him a top-flight comedy, it might be easier to let him slide, but this picture is as clumsy as its leading figure, an uncomfortable attempt to tap into the essence of the classic Panther films while updating it for modern audiences who might not know Inspector Clouseau from Inspector Javert. There are a few bright moments, but for the most part, the gags aren't particularly fresh, mildly amusing bits are repeated until they lose every ounce of appeal, and Martin unwisely softens the character's hard edges. *1/2
THE SHAGGY DOG Borrowing elements from 1959's The Shaggy Dog and 1976's The Shaggy D.A. but mostly wandering off in its own direction, this turkey -- excuse me, dog -- casts Tim Allen as a lawyer who periodically turns into a canine after being bitten by a 300-year-old sheepdog. Allen is given far too many opportunities to grotesquely ham it up -- for his next film, how about a nice, quiet role as a corpse? -- while Spencer Breslin adds to our misery as Allen's son, a dweeb with a jones for all things Grease (his rendition of "You're the One That I Want" sounds like a cat being shoved tail-first into a blender). In between Allen's mugging and the lame slapstick sequences, we're treated to a parade of creepy CGI effects; still, even these aren't as disturbing as the sight of Allen lifting his leg while using a urinal, or a shaggy Allen telling another dog that "maybe later" he'll sniff his butt. *
16 BLOCKS This action flick stars Bruce Willis as a detective whose seemingly simple task of transporting a petty criminal (Mos Def) from the jailhouse to the courthouse is hindered by corrupt cops. 16 Blocks works as a throwback to the "B" flicks of yore, when an unflagging pace, a few dollops of humor and a couple of sharply etched characterizations were enough to justify a matinee ticket. Willis is solid, yet it's his co-star who really shines. Mos Def's part could have been a rehash of the sorts of characters we always see in this type of yarn -- Eddie Murphy by way of Samuel L. Jackson. Yet, given a leg up by Richard Wenk's scripting, he heads off in a different direction, portraying his character not as an impertinent braggart held prisoner by his own inflated sense of macho posturing but as a sensitive, soft-spoken guy whose eternal optimism allows him to remain grounded by his faith in his own abilities. ***
TSOTSI Tsotsi is the South African word for "thug"; here, it's also the name used by a Johannesburg punk (Presley Chweneyagae) who shoots an upper-class woman and steals her car, failing to realize that an infant boy is resting in the back seat. Deciding to keep the child, he forces a single mom (Terry Pheto) to help him, but he soon softens thanks to these two new people in his life. Winner of this year's Academy Award for Best Foreign-Language Film, this South African import takes a sentimental view of what can largely be construed as unsentimental circumstances, yet its selling point is the subtlety by which it spreads around its empathy. The sturdy performances by Chweneyagae and Pheto are as understated and matter-of-fact as the rest of the picture, signaling that writer-director Gavin Hood (adapting a novel by playwright Athol Fugard) made sure everyone was on the same page right from the start. ***
V FOR VENDETTA Like so many other recent blockbusters, this adaptation of an influential graphic novel can be viewed on two different levels. In one respect, it's a typical big-budget FX affair, not the sort that rolls off the assembly line but the type that shows that as much creativity as dollars went into every aspect of the production. Yet on another level, it serves as a wake-up call to Americans disgusted that their country has been hijacked by criminals, profiteers and warhawks. Set in an Orwellian England in the year 2020 (but packed with allusions to the United States of today), this finds a masked vigilante named V (Hugo Weaving) recruiting young Evey Hammond (excellent Natalie Portman) to help him in his battle against the fascistic ruling class. V For Vendetta is that rare blockbuster that's interested in words more than action. That's not to say the picture doesn't contain its share of explosive set pieces and dashing derring-do, but its import rests in the muddy waters it navigates and the difficult questions it ponders. ***1/2
WHY WE FIGHT In his farewell address, President (and WWII hero) Dwight D. Eisenhower urged Americans to be wary of the "military-industrial" complex, that chummy relationship between the armed forces and big business that could lead to "misplaced power." As I watched this speech -- included in this documentary -- I was struck by the irony that in today's rabid climate, this Republican icon would be denounced by the Bush regime as a "coward" inclined to "side with the terrorists." Beyond this amusing thought, what's left is yet another well-meaning film that will only preach to the choir. Eugene Jarecki seems to have two movies in mind and clumsily squashes the pair together into one scattershot feature. The more interesting part is an examination of why America always feels compelled to engage in warfare, but this broad topic eventually gets narrowed down into the familiar (albeit accurate) rant about how this administration lied to the American people to gain support for a senseless war. **1/2
OPENS FRIDAY, MARCH 31:
ATL: T.I., Lauren London.
BASIC INSTINCT 2: Sharon Stone, David Morrissey.
FIND ME GUILTY: Vin Diesel, Peter Dinklage.
ICE AGE: THE MELTDOWN: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo.
SLITHER: Nathan Fillian, Elizabeth Banks.
