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THE MATADOR If someone were to greet James Bond by stating, "You look good," the answer would doubtless be something on the order of "Why, thank you" or "That's true." But here, the reply is bitter and blunt: "I look like a Bangkok hooker on a Sunday morning after the Navy's left town." OK, so it's not actually Agent 007 who utters this sharp retort, but coming from Pierce Brosnan, cast as another character who's been given a "licence to kill," it's the next best thing. Brosnan stars as Julian Noble, a career assassin whose life exists on a never-ending loop of getting drunk, getting laid and getting his target. Burning out at a rapid clip, he opens up to a businessman (Greg Kinnear) he meets in a bar in Mexico City, thereby jumpstarting an unusual relationship. Brosnan is performing his own high-wire act here, daring us not to like his sleazy, vulgar, insensitive, immoral character. As a human being, Julian's not much, but as a movie character, he's a keeper. Rating: ***
MRS. HENDERSON PRESENTS When did one of cinema's most accomplished actresses turn into one of its most boring? Except for her atypical (and smashing) performance in Iris, Judi Dench has been delivering the exact same performance dating back to 1997 -- that of the frosty, tart-tongued Englishwoman who's clearly smarter than everyone else in the room. She's at it again in this predictable piffle about a wealthy widow who finances vaudeville revues staged with naked young women. The shows prove to be a raging success, but then World War II comes along to rain on everyone's parade. Daffy humor makes way for maudlin drama (complete with requisite wartime speeches), but except for the sight of co-star Bob Hoskins in his own one-man rendition of The Full Monty, there's nothing here to indicate that director Stephen Frears (Dirty Pretty Things) is doing anything but coasting. The blue-hairs will dig it, though. Rating: **
NANNY MCPHEE Reminiscent of the black comedies routinely made by Danny De Vito (most notably his delightful Matilda), Nanny McPhee finds director Kirk Jones and scripter-star Emma Thompson (adapting Christianna Brand's "Nurse Matilda" books) similarly employing menacing situations, questionable comic material and oversized, often grotesque characters in an unorthodox attempt to arrive at a sentimental conclusion. Thompson, delivering a sharp performance under pounds of facial latex, plays the title character, a snaggletooth, wart-sprouting nursemaid who mysteriously shows up to help a widower (Colin Firth) contend with his seven monstrous children. Most of the screen time is spent on the kids, which is a shame, since Thompson's character is by far the most interesting one on view. Nanny McPhee should play well with the small fry, though adults may be more bothered by the clumsy shifts in tone. Rating: **1/2
THE PINK PANTHER Despite his own comic credentials, Steve Martin is playing a dead man's hand here. Peter Sellers' particular brand of comic genius was evident in his recurring portrayal of bumbling Inspector Clouseau, and try as he might, Martin is never able to make the role his own. Were the movie surrounding him a top-flight comedy, it might be easier to let him slide, but this picture is as clumsy as its leading figure, an uncomfortable attempt to tap into the essence of the classic Panther films while updating it for modern audiences who might not know Inspector Clouseau from Inspector Javert. There are a few bright moments, but for the most part, the gags aren't particularly fresh, mildly amusing bits are repeated until they lose every ounce of appeal, and Martin unwisely softens the character's hard edges. Rating: * 1/2
SOMETHING NEW From Silver Streak to Bringing Down the House, there have been numerous movies in which an uptight Caucasian is taught how to loosen up by an African-American acquaintance. Something New reverses that formula, but beyond this little-seen novelty, there's not much about this romantic comedy that transcends the story's expected ebb and flow. Here, the rigid individual is Kenya McQueen (Sanaa Lathan), a workaholic who doesn't have time to look for her IBM (ideal black male). When she finally does make time to go on a blind date, she's stunned that the guy, a landscape architect (Simon Baker), is white. Something New is a diamond in the rough, blessed with a vibrant leading lady and choice moments dealing with racial tensions but marred by occasional clunky dialogue and perfunctory supporting characters. This delivers more often than not, but for an exemplary love story starring Sanaa Lathan, rent Love and Basketball. Rating: ** 1/2
