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MONSTER-IN-LAW After a 15-year hiatus, Jane Fonda returns to the big screen, and young uns who've only heard about her standing as one of the finest actresses of the 1970s will automatically assume that their parents have been pulling their legs all these years. Fonda is an embarrassment in this torturous comedy, betrayed both by director Robert Luketic's mishandling and by her own rusty instincts. Blank-faced Jennifer Lopez stars as Charlie, a jill-of-all-trades (caterer, dog walker, receptionist) who finds the perfect man in Dr. Kevin Fields (Alias' Michael Vartan). All goes well until she meets his mother, a former TV personality who also turns out to be psychotic. This only escapes a one-star rating because of the acerbic wit of Wanda Sykes (cast as Fonda's wisecracking assistant); otherwise, the laughs are as scarce as Coke machines in the Kalahari. 1/2

STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH Better than their overall critical standing would have one believe, the new Star Wars flicks have nevertheless registered as disappointments to those of us for whom the original trilogy felt like a coming-of-age rite of passage. The Phantom Menace was a mixed bag, while Attack of the Clones (by a hair the best of the newbies) only occasionally managed to recapture the spirit and flavor of the original three-pack. This last chapter follows suit, a cinematic seesaw in which the good bits are packed into the second half. The movie gets off to a dreadful start, stuffed with chaotic chases, ill-defined new characters and the rapid elimination of a worthy foe. And then something inspiring occurs: The mythology takes over, and the latter sequences - directly connecting to events first recorded in the original Star Wars film back in 1977 - resonate beyond the screen, fueled as much by our own nostalgic twinges as by George Lucas' ability to send the series off in style. 1/2

OPENS FRIDAY:

THE LONGEST YARD: Adam Sandler, Chris Rock.
MADAGASCAR: Animated; Ben Stiller, Chris Rock.