Page 2 of 3

HITCH A warm and witty comedy that unfortunately runs itself into the ground, Hitch benefits immeasurably from the presence of Will Smith, who may or may not be a great actor but who is most assuredly a great movie star. There's something to be said for effortless magnetism, and in that respect, Smith has more in common with the sophisticated comedians of the past than the coarse jokesters of today. He's at turns sly, suave and sexy as Alex "Hitch" Hitchens, who earns a living by advising other men how to land the woman of their dreams. Yet even as he tries to pair up a clumsy accountant (Kevin James) with a supermodel (Amber Valletta), he unexpectedly finds his own attention drawn to a gossip columnist (Eva Mendes). Viewers who go with the flow will gladly put reality on pause in order to enjoy this movie's modest pleasures - it's just a shame the picture reverts to rigid formula in its final half-hour. 1/2

HOSTAGE Bruce Willis delivers a committed performance as Jeff Talley, an LAPD hostage negotiator whose botching of a tense standoff leaves him with innocent blood on his hands and prods him into moving to a sleepy community where the crime rate hovers around zero. But once three ruffians attempting to steal a car end up killing a police officer and subsequently taking a family hostage, Talley finds himself back in the sort of situation he would like to avoid. For a good while, director Florent Siri and scripter Doug Richardson do their pulpy material proud, with a real attention to both exposition and execution. But as the storyline gets more crowded (another gang of villains ends up holding Talley's own family hostage), the film falls apart through outlandish developments and ludicrous resolutions to the various plot strands. 1/2

MELINDA AND MELINDA The problem with Woody Allen these days isn't that he's run out of ideas; the problem is that he's running out of ways in which to frame these ideas in compelling contexts. Melinda and Melinda starts with a typically inspired concept: Two playwrights (Wallace Shawn and Larry Pine) discussing whether life is inherently tragic or comic both hear an anecdote involving a young woman named Melinda, and each envisions her story in a different manner. Allen's instincts clearly aren't as sharp as before, since the comic half isn't especially funny and the tragic half isn't especially heartbreaking. Overall, the movie's a pleasant piffle, but it's the dual performance by Radha Mitchell (as both Melindas) rather than Allen's script that distinguishes it. As the Allen surrogate, Will Ferrell isn't bad, benefiting from the screenplay's few zingers. 1/2

MILLIONS Movies that traffic in whimsy often step over the line into pure treacle, and there are moments when Millions appears to be on the brink of doing just that. Yet to its credit, it maintains its balance between reality and fantasy, resulting in a charming film about locating the miracles in a material world. Young Damian (Alex Etel) receives regular "visits" from history's honored saints, so when a bag of cash lands in his lap, he figures it came straight from God and he should give it to the poor. But what he doesn't know is that the loot is actually stolen, and that the thief (Christopher Fulford) is determined to recover it at all costs. Rather than devolve into Home Alone shenanigans, the film remains true to its characters and in the process reveals what it means to be truly spiritual in a world in which religion is too often used as a smokescreen for bigotry and intolerance.

MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS Even taking into account its status as a prefabricated, by-the-numbers sequel, this follow-up to the mediocre 2000 outing doesn't quite qualify as opium for the masses. Instead, it's more like two weak hits from a cracked bong. This time, Sandra Bullock's FBI agent must thwart a pair of kidnappers with the help of her hostile new partner (Regina King) and an offensive gay caricature (Diedrich Bader). With no feel for characterization, dialogue or plot development, this is the sort of dull sequel that's sure to be politely dismissed as merely routine, when it's that very sense of rampaging mediocrity - of flagrant laziness and audience disregard oozing out of every blemished pore - that renders it all but unwatchable. Many bad movies at least make an effort; this one is content to simply lay there, like a fat tick gorged on the blood of complacent moviegoers.