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DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN Watching this adaptation of Tyler Perry's stage play is akin to channel surfing between showings of Soul Food and Nutty Professor II: The Klumps - with an occasional flip over to The Jeffersons for good measure. A huge hit with Afro-American audiences, Perry's play, about a pampered wife (Kimberly Elise) who starts over after being dumped by her odious husband (Steve Harris), has been adapted (by the author himself) into a movie that's overflowing with positive Christian ideals as well as an honest assessment of the intrinsic desire for seeking retribution versus the spiritual need for giving absolution. In this respect, the movie's emotionally satisfying (if a bit simplistic), yet Perry dilutes its potency by casting himself in the sitcom roles of a profane, gun-wielding grandmother and her brother, a flatulent elder constantly leering at women when he's not busy smoking dope. 1/2

HIDE AND SEEK Robert De Niro, in full paycheck-gorging mode, is miscast as David Callaway, a New York psychologist who, after his wife (Amy Irving) commits suicide, moves upstate with their traumatized 9-year-old daughter Emily (Dakota Fanning). Still struggling to cope with the tragedy, Emily invents an imaginary friend named Charlie, and a subsequent string of disasters leads David to wonder whether Emily suffers from a split personality, whether another person is manipulating his daughter, or whether there's a supernatural presence in their new home. It's becoming increasingly rote to review junky, generic thrillers like this one: Critics would do well to simply cut-and-paste their slams of last year's Secret Window (this film's doppelganger) and leave it at that. 1/2

HITCH A warm and witty comedy that unfortunately runs itself into the ground, Hitch benefits immeasurably from the presence of Will Smith, who may or may not be a great actor but who is most assuredly a great movie star. There's something to be said for effortless magnetism, and in that respect, Smith has more in common with the sophisticated comedians of the past than the coarse jokesters of today. He's at turns sly, suave and sexy as Alex "Hitch" Hitchens, who earns a living by advising other men how to land the woman of their dreams. Yet even as he tries to pair up a clumsy accountant (Kevin James) with a supermodel (Amber Valletta), he unexpectedly finds his own attention drawn to a gossip columnist (Eva Mendes). Viewers who go with the flow will gladly put reality on pause in order to enjoy this movie's modest pleasures - it's just a shame the picture reverts to rigid formula in its final half-hour. 1/2

THE JACKET The psychological thriller The Jacket shouldn't be confused with the Jackie Chan dud The Tuxedo, though when it comes to sartorial splendor, it's hard to imagine moviegoers wanting to get fitted for either film. This new picture is eerily reminiscent of last year's The Butterfly Effect, the clumsy time travel yarn that asked audiences to empathize with a character played by Ashton Kutcher. This one makes the task easier by casting amiable Oscar winner Adrien Brody as an amnesiac Gulf War vet whose stint at an insane asylum finds him serving as experimental fodder for a mad scientist (Kris Kristofferson). That the movie never attempts to even offer an explanation of its weird science exemplifies the haphazardness that dominates the movie. Jennifer Jason Leigh is on hand as a conscientious doctor, but even she can't save a cinematic dog that narratively ends up chasing its own tail.

MILLION DOLLAR BABY The best picture of 2004 is an instant classic, much like director-producer-star Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven. But whereas that revisionist Western deconstructed genre conventions, turning them inside out to expose the inherent contradictions and compromises, this movie leaves many of the cliches intact, deriving its power not by upending them but by burrowing so deeply that it feels like we're witnessing familiar sights for the very first time. Eastwood stars as a gym owner who's urged by his only friend (Morgan Freeman) to train a young woman (Hilary Swank) determined to make it as a boxer, yet what starts out as a familiar (if brilliantly told) story eventually changes course and emerges as a profound and moving filmgoing experience. There's very little about this movie that feels extraneous - it's tight, taut storytelling, anchored by three astonishing performances and helmed by a man still able to teach Hollywood's young punks a thing or two.