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Extreme Mercenary Makeover

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Private security firm Blackwater retained a top public relations firm to prepare for Congressional testimony, the Associated Press reported last week. It's gotta be a tough job, spinning the guns-for-hire company's alleged misdeeds into gold. And one thing any PR campaign needs is a good slogan. Think any of these might work?

1.) At least we're pro-Second Amendment, you crybabies.

2.) Blackwater: We make Lt. Calley look good.

3.) Would you prefer the draft?

4.) Our employees make more money than Lynndie England ever did.

5.) We kill for money, not hate.

6.) After your mission's accomplished, hire us.

7.) Shoot first. Avoid questions later.

8.) Compared to us, the LAPD is a bunch of pussies.

9.) Live free or die. We decide.

10.) Hey, we pay more for homicides than O.J.

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