I'm a 24-year-old gay male in a three-year relationship with a man I love. I also have a diaper fetish. I told him about it once, nearly two years ago, but have not brought it up since. Recently I have gone out to buy diapers. I don't use the diapers for pee or poop, but I enjoy the feeling of wearing them. I have talked to other diaper lovers (DL) online, and I recently started talking with a guy who lives a few miles away who is also a DL. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend, but I would like to indulge my fetish at least once in my life. If there is no sex during the fetish play, would that be cheating? There would be no kissing or anything. I would just change his diaper and powder him, and he would be doing the same to me. I would love to hear your advice.
Here's what Good Dan would tell you: Go and tell your boyfriend that you love him, remind him about the conversation you had two years ago about your diaper fetish, and ask if he would be up for exploring this aspect of your sexuality with you. If so, great! No need to see that other guy. But if not, DD, then ask your boyfriend how he would feel about you getting together with someone who shares your kink — not for sex, just for diapering and powdering. If he doesn't mind, great! If he does mind, well, then you need to think about whether staying in this relationship is wise... because sooner or later, you're going to cheat on him. And if you don't want to be the kind of person who cheats on his boyfriend, you'll have to find one who shares your kink or is willing to share you.
Here's what Bad Dan would tell you: Seeing as you're only 24, and seeing as you've been in this relationship for three years, and seeing as you've never engaged in any diaper play... sneaking off to play with that other DL might help clarify things. Either you'll learn that diaper play is something you can't live without (which will prompt you to force the issue with your boyfriend, i.e., he either plays with you or gives you permission to play with others) or you'll realize that diapered reality is a lot less sexy than diaper fantasies and your kink will evaporate (highly unlikely).
Good Dan thinks you should take his advice, DD, because Good Dan is an annoying prick who thinks he's right about everything. But Bad Dan thinks you should know that Actual Dan took his advice back when he was your age — about exploring his sexuality generally, not about exploring diapers specifically — and it helped clarify things for Actual Dan.
I'm a producer with a Chicago-based production company started by a handful of former Oprah show producers. We specialize in developing unscripted/reality show concepts. We are thinking of producing a show about unicorns, those bisexual women who wish to be "thirds," and I thought you could possibly help us find women who identify as unicorns and could be potential characters.
Hoping Unicorns Not Television Averse
You have two hurdles to clear, HUNTA, as you're not just looking for unicorns, which are hard enough to find, but unicorns who wanna go on television and talk about being unicorns. (And you'll probably want telegenic unicorns, too, which would be hurdle number three.) But I'm here to help: On the off chance that there are any telegenic unicorns out there reading this who want to be on TV — or any women who want to be on TV so bad that they'll pretend to be unicorns — send me an e-mail with "TV Unicorn" in the subject line, and I will forward your e-mail on to the unicorn HUNTA.
My fiancé came home, and his beard smelled like pussy — the sweet, healthy kind. He denied having his face in someone else's business. Is there anything else it could have been? Help!
Sick In Minneapolis
I have no idea what pussy smells like, SIM, as I've never had my face in that business. So I can't really tell you what else it could've been — Clamato? Caramel corn? Crème brûlée? — because I have no frame of reference. But I'm running your letter in the hopes that otherwise-cute hipster boys will be inspired to shave off their ugly fucking beards to escape justified or unjustified accusations of infidelity.Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.